I turn away from him, because if I keep looking into his eyes, I’ll lose all my resolve. I won’t be the reason he ruins his career. I won’t do that to him. “I think you should go.”
“Rachel,” he pleads.
“Please go.”
He stands behind me for a minute or two before heading out of my room. Tears fall as soon as he shuts my bedroom door.
Chapter 15
Rachel
* * *
It’s been a whole week since Fender left to return to Hollywood. An entire week filled with tissues and me second guessing myself.
Fender told me he’d call me when he went back to LA, but I begged him not to. One word from him and I’d leave Alaska so fast and never look back. Just one whisper of begging me to move away with him and I’d be a goner.
“Where’s Dad?” Joanie asks when she walks into the house after school.
I hang the last ornament on the full tree and raise a brow. “I thought he was picking you up from school?”
“I waited, and he never showed up.”
I yank out my phone, furious with my father. He doesn’t answer, and then the front door opens again.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asks, walking into the house like he didn’t just forget to pick up his seventeen-year-old daughter from school.
I slide my phone into my pocket. “Dad, we never finished our fight.”
His gaze volleys between Joanie and me. “Um, ok.”
We all take a seat on the couch, and I stare at my father. “What is up with you lately? You forgot to pick up Joanie after school.”
His eyes widen. “I completely forgot. It won’t happen again,” he says.
“But it has happened. Many times. You haven’t been going to Roger’s.”
He scrubs a hand down his face. “I’ve been…”
“Are you sick?” Joanie asks, interrupting my father.
He shakes his head. “No, no. It’s nothing like that. I’ve…”
Joanie and I both cross our arms. “Tell us, Dad.”
He blows out a breath. “Fine. I’ve been seeing someone.”
“What? Who?” we ask in unison.
“Jenny Fisher from the library.”
“Mrs. Fisher? Are you joking?” Joanie screeches. “You’ve been hooking up?”
My father gives her a harsh stare. “It’s more than that. I’ve been meaning to tell you girls, but we wanted to make sure it was solid before making it official.”
I snap my eyes to his, still in shock. “How long have you been dating her?”
“A few months.”
“Months?” Joanie nearly screams. “Months?” she asks again, like she can’t believe her own ears.
She’s clearly not handling this as well as I am.
To be honest, I’m happy for my father. He put his whole life on hold to raise us girls.
“Good for you, Dad,” I say, and Joanie widens her eyes at me.
“I am shook,” Joanie says, sitting back and crossing her arms.
“I didn’t do this to hurt you girls. Everyone deserves love, and I was lucky enough to meet the woman of my dreams, and have two beautiful daughters with her, but my heart is ready for love again.”
My heart goes out to my father, and Joanie’s scowl softens.
“I can’t wait to have her over for dinner,” I say.
“When are we having the shark boy over?” my father asks.
I shake my head. “He went back to Hollywood. So, that’s over.”
My father frowns. “I’m sorry.”
“You should have gone with him,” Joanie says.
“Well, he asked me to.”
Joanie launches forward on the couch, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head. “And you said no? Why?” she whines.
“I can’t leave you and Dad.”
“Why not?” my father asks.
“Because you both need me.”
Dad and Joanie share a look.
“Let me ask you a question, Rachel,” my father says. “Do you love him?”
“Of course, she does,” Joanie answers for me.
Do I love him? Joanie’s right. Of course, I do. I think I have since the first minute I laid eyes on him. I’ve never known anyone so laid back, like Fender.
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“Why not?” Joanie asks, her voice softening.
“He’s off to Hollywood to be a huge star.”
“I saw the way he stared at you at the plunge. He loves you.”
I laugh. “He does not love me.”
Does he?
It’s too soon for love. I’ve only known him for a short while. It can’t be love. It can’t be something that could last a lifetime.
“Yes, he does,” my father adds. “I could see it at dinner the other night.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter now.”
“You should go to California. Go be with him,” Joanie says. “You’ll always regret it if you don’t.”
The next day, as I clean Mr. Henderson’s place, dusting and vacuuming, all I can think about is going to LA.
What if Fender’s already forgotten me?
What if he doesn’t want me anymore?
What if I get there, and he turns me away?
I think about what my father and Joanie said, about how I’ll always regret it if I don’t go.
Which is true. I will always regret it. What if our love is the kind of love that can handle any challenges thrown its way.