“And a phone call?” Her answers would never close the wound she left in my heart, gaping and raw. I didn’t even know how to address her living here in the stone shed like a vagrant.
“Andy… I ruined everything. I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve a happy life with anyone.”
“And you didn’t think I could have been a part of that decision?”
“Not then I didn’t.”
“Jesus Christ. I married you.”
“And I sent you divorce papers which I’ve come to find have been hanging on your office wall all these years.”
“I was honoring our commitment. Something you seemed to have trouble doing.”
Her eyes watered and overflowed, “I wasn’t a hooker.”
I couldn’t stop the growl or running my hands through my hair without pulling fistfuls, “Semantics.”
“I was trying to fix things.” She whispered like a broken doll.
The bridge of my nose pounded in a painful headache.
“A little self-care might have saved us the trouble.”
“What was I supposed to do? Cancel plans? Stay in, have a girl’s night? Disconnect for a bit?”
“Well it’s certainly not disappear for a decade to resurface later as a completely different person.” I groused.
“But, Andrew, that’s just it, I haven’t changed at all.” She sounded forlorn and hopeless. It gutted me.
“We’ve all changed.”
Sierra might have been the same terrified little girl who didn’t have enough options but we were adults today and I could offer her plenty if she just sat still long enough to listen to me.
“Are you still doing drugs?” I asked watching her face for the slightest indication she was lying.
“No. I haven’t for a while but that doesn’t mean everyday isn’t a struggle.”
I kneeled down in front of her to clasp her hands in mine.
“Firefly, I’d be worried if you said it was easy and you never thought about it. I know that’s it’s going to be there, but I don’t want this shit to own us.”
“But I’ve hurt so many people.”
“You make it sound like no one in the history of Earth has ever made a mistake before?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“We’re human. We hurt. We bleed. We can also apologize and make better choices.”
“I’m just so afraid that my choices are unforgivable and when you realize this you’re going to push me away and nothing will have changed after all.”
“There’s only one way to know that and that’s to stick it out with me. Give this thing a proper try. I can’t promise I won’t ever get mad at you again but I never stopped loving you in the past decade and I’d like to think that counts for something.”
“I don’t know how you could.” She sniffed back tears.
“I spent years trying to for
get you, but that’s not me, Sierra. I was always waiting for you to come back.”