“But I am leaving London,” she said with renewed resolve.
“Leaving?” How ironic that the one thing he’d always wanted for her was now the last thing he wanted to hear. “Where will you go?”
“To a place where the air is clean. Where the life is not squeezed from my soul day by day.”
Lord help him. It felt as though the devil had punched a hole in his chest and ripped out his heart. “And what about me?”
“I am a hindrance to your work, Daniel. It was my fault you almost died in the alley, my fault I’d gone into a book shop and not stayed with Bostock as I was told.” She touched him lightly on the cheek before pulling her hand away. “If I stay here, you’ll feel bound to protect me. How can you be mindful of your safety if you’re always worrying about me?”
Daniel dragged his hand down his face. The painful knots in his stomach made it difficult to stand straight. “I can’t let you go.”
“And I can’t stay.” She glanced left and right along the deserted path, leant forward and kissed him softly on the lips.
Her touch soothed the pain, and he wrapped his arm around her and deepened the kiss.
When she broke contact on a ragged breath, tears were streaming down her face. “I love you,” she whispered. “But you must let me go.” She stepped away from him.
“Wait.” The word was but a whisper.
He stood like a fool and watched her hurry along the path. The back of his throat was tight, his tongue too thick and heavy to call out. Rather than a hundred thoughts filling his head, his mind was empty. He was nothing but a hollow shell. The lady had captured his heart and soul and spirited them away.
Time passed in a blur.
He had no recollection of how long he’d stood there staring at the trees, no recollection of how he’d walked from the bridge to his carriage.
Having failed to arrive for his appointment, he spent the time in Church Street, tidying the rooms and putting the books on the shelves in alphabetical order.
It was seven o’clock when Bostock arrived.
“Should you not be celebrating with your betrothed?” Daniel said, dropping into the chair in the study. The words carried a hint of bitterness which in no way reflected his true feelings. “What I meant to say is Miss Betsy deserves your full attention.”
Bostock sat in the seat opposite. “Betsy says Mrs Chambers is leaving London. That she’s going to apply for a job as a governess for a widower. The man has three children and has not long lost his wife.”
“And what will she teach them?” Daniel snorted. “How to wield a pistol? How to lie and make it look convincing?”
Bostock frowned. “You sound like the old Thorpe. The man who cares for no one but himself. The man who likes to hide his feelings rather than show others he’s weak.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “Love makes you talk in riddles, Bostock.”
“And love is the only thing that can save you but you’re too stubborn to see it.”
Bostock had never spoken so openly to him before. “Did Mrs Chambers send you here to rub salt in my wounds?”
“Mrs Chambers has not left her bedchamber since she came home from meeting you in the park. Betsy went to check on her, but she wouldn’t open the door.”
A sharp pain shot through his heart. “Perhaps she’s packing.”
Bostock fell silent. When Daniel was in a cynical mood, his friend knew not to press him.
“Did you meet your new client?” Bostock asked, changing the subject.
“No.”
Bostock appeared surprised. “It’s not like you to miss an appointment.”
“Things change.” The truth was he could barely recall his own name let alone hold a lengthy conversation, or appear remotely interested in other people’s affairs.
Bostock stood abruptly. “I’d best be going.”