I went up the stairs and down the long hall towards the nursery. On my way there, I passed the master suite. The door was open and I glanced in. I was frozen to the spot, in awe of what I saw. Alex was lying on his big bed, shirtless. Baby Michael was lying on his chest in only a diaper. Alex had one hand resting protectively on the baby’s back. They were both asleep. It was literally the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. I don’t know how long I stood there like that… I couldn’t draw myself away. My attention was suddenly drawn behind me where a middle aged lady was mopping the floor.
“Oh hello.”
She looked up at me and smiled. “Hello Miss. I’m Esther I don’t think we’ve met yet.”
“Hi Esther, I’m Vicki.”
She glanced in at what had me so captivated and said, “Oh my goodness, if that’s not the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I smiled. “Me too,” I said. “I can’t seem to drag myself away.”
“Don’t Miss. Just stand there watching them as long as you can. Before you know it, that little one will be grown with his own babies. My youngest just turned twenty-two.”
“How many children do you have?” I asked her.
“Two boys,” she smiled. Then suddenly she looked wistful and she said, “They didn’t have a daddy around. Your little one is lucky.”
“Yes, he is.” She went on to do her work and I stood there looking at the two men I loved most in the world. She was so right. Michael was lucky and if it meant living here forever and watching Alex have relationships with other women… then that’s what I would do to ensure that he never had to be without his father.
CHAPTER THREE
ALEX
I had the best time taking care of Michael while Victoria went to visit her friend. He was so alert to be so little and when I talked to him he stared up at me wide-eyed and looked like he was taking in every word. It was almost eerie to look down at eyes that were so similar to my own. The only difference between them was that his held an innocence that mine had long since lost.
When he got hungry, I fed him the bottle that Vicki pumped before she left. He ate it like a champ and then we lay down on my bed to have a talk and he fell asleep on my chest. I didn’t have the heart to move him and before I knew it, I fell asleep too. When I woke up, Vicki was sitting by the bed watching us.
“Hi, how long have you been home?”
She shrugged. “An hour or so. I lost track of time watching the two of you.”
I looked down at Michael. He was beginning to wake up, stretching and wiggling in that way newborns do. He amazed me like nothing in my life ever had. I would be eternally grateful to Vicki for giving him to me. “He’s something, isn’t he?”
“He sure is.” I looked up at her and she was looking at me, not the baby. She smiled and then she stood up and scooped him off my chest. Holding him in one arm, she leaned down and pressed her lips to mine. It was a soft, sweet, intimate kiss… nothing that should have excited me too much… but it did. I found myself wanting her more and more with each day that passed, but I had to examine my feelings and make sure that this was about me wanting her and not me being grateful, or her just being convenient. She’s the mother of my son and she’s a good mother. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt her.
“That was nice,” I told her. I sat up and said, “What time is it?”
“Around three.”
“I have an idea… if you’re up for it.”
“What’s that?”
“Maybe after you feed him and get him settled back down… Karen could watch him for a bit while you take a walk in the gardens with me? I could ask Cook to pack us some snacks and we could have a little picnic by the pond?”
She smiled and her eyes lit up. “I’d like that a lot,” she said. I was happy and surprised. I’d almost expected her to refuse to leave Michael again. I suppose it was because we weren’t going that far, or away for that long.
“Great!” I reached for my shirt and pulled it on. “I’ll go talk to her and cook and set it up.” She started out of the room and I said, “Vicki?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for him.”
She laughed. “You put in half the genes you know.”
“I know, but you could have… you didn’t have to let me…”
“It’s okay, I know what you mean. Just so you know I’m so glad that I did. I think he’s so lucky to have you. We both are.” She left with the baby and a smile that made me feel warm all over. I think this past couple of weeks with her and Michael have been the most truly contented moments of my life. I wanted it to be like this forever… only I was beginning to want more. I didn’t want to rush her and scare her… but I am not sure how much longer I’d be able to keep those kisses chaste.
I asked Karen and she said she’d love to watch Michael for an hour or two. Cook set about packing a basket full of delicious snacks and by the time Vicki finished feeding Michael, everything was ready.
We walked away from the back of the house towards the gardens that I regrettably didn’t usually get enough time to enjoy. When I first bought the house I’d had grand delusions that Cassandra and I would live here forever and that we would raise children here. I had the gardens designed with walking paths and clearings around the pond where the lawns were lush and green and just perfect for a picnic on a beautiful day. We walked along one of the brick paths and the smells of the flowers wafted around us in the breeze. The fragrance was soft and sweet and I could see Vicki inhaling deeply as we passed the roses. I stopped and picked a deep orange and white one; a variety that I’d had specially imported. I handed it to her and she smiled and put it up to her nose. I wondered as I watched her if she had any idea how beautiful she is.
“It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen one this color before.” She looked into the rose garden and made a little happy noise. “Look at them all! Every color you can think of! They’re gorgeous. Why does the gardener deliver red ones for the house every day?”
I hated to bring up Cassie to her, but in order to give her an accurate answer I said, “He’s still following the instructions that Cassie gave him. You can let him know that you’d like a different color… or a variety. You’re the lady of the house now.” I couldn’t really read the look on her face. I wasn’t sure if it was shock or reluctance.
She laughed then and said, “I’m the lady of the house?”
“Well of course you are. You’re the mother of the lord of the manor and my…”
She looked at me curiously, in anticipation of what I was going to say next. “Your what? What do you think of me as… other than Michael’s mother?” She looked like she enjoyed putting me on the spot.
“I would love to think of you as my girlfriend… to start. If that’s okay with you?”