“He kissed me last night. It wasn’t a friendly kiss because I’m the mother of his child. It was a real kiss and there was real passion behind it. I don’t know that I’m in love with him, but I care very much about him and I’m attracted to him in a way I’ve never been attracted to anyone before. I think it’s worth exploring as long as I keep reminding myself that living with him does not make us a couple… yet.”
“Just be careful with your heart honey. Jason did a big enough number on it.”
“I will be, I promise. What’s new with you?”
“Absolutely nothing,” she said, with a sad smile. “I went on two dates this past week. One of them was with the guy from apartment 82… did you ever meet him?”
“Oh! The cute guy with the little Boxer he walks every morning?”
“Yeah, him.”
“He’s so cute and he seems really nice. You didn’t have fun?”
“It was… interesting. We went to a restaurant in Venice Beach where we could eat outside… do you want to know why we had to eat outside?”
I could guess, but I said, “Why?”
“Because Louie… that’s the boxer’s name… he had to go with us. He sat on the seat between us. Louie has some kickin’ breath and he emits gas almost constantly.”
I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face. “I’m sorry, it’s not funny…”
“Oh, go ahead and laugh. It’s either that or cry. I always wondered why he was single and now I know.”
When I finished laughing I said, “So who was date number two?”
“You remember Grant from my Yoga class?”
“Grant? I thought he was gay?”
“He’s not sure… I am. We went to a club and he spent the night staring at all of the hot guys. I walked up on him getting one guy’s number.”
“Oh Liz, I’m sorry!”
She rolled her eyes again. “Me too. I attract the weirdos like flies.”
“Don’t give up. You’re amazing. You deserve so much better.”
“Does Alex have a brother?” she asked, with a laugh.
“Not that he’s mentioned,
but if it turns out that he does you’ll be the first person I call after I meet him.”
She smiled and said, “Or a cousin. A cousin would be nice.”
We talked and laughed for over an hour and I realized that Alex was right… as hard as it was to leave the baby I needed this. I felt lighter and I suppose it’s true what people say about being unable to care for others if you don’t care for yourself. When it came time to go, I assured Liz that I wouldn’t be a stranger.
“I will call you in a few weeks after we get a nanny hired and we’ll have lunch, okay?”
“I’d like that,” she said. “I’d also love to see that sweet baby boy again too.”
“That, you can do anytime. You know where to find us.
“Um… yeah, I’ve only been to the mansion that once when I dropped you off… I felt out of place just in the driveway. I don’t really fit in there.”
“Don’t be silly,” I told her, but I had to wonder if she really was being silly, or not. Didn’t I feel the same way? I lived there now and I still had a hard time thinking of myself as anything but the maid. I knew in my heart that I’d never fit in with the people I’d seen at Alex’s parties and the thought of meeting his parents terrified me. When it was just me and him, or me and him and Michael, everything was great and his world and mine melded together to form a beautiful place. But, I had been around that house long enough to see him in his element. He’s hosted parties and gatherings that I worked at; serving food or drinks, he was everything a man in his position should be. He was polite and charming and a gracious host all the way around. He put on a tuxedo and wore it as if he’d been born in it. I wasn’t elegant, nor was I comfortable in formal wear. I heard his guests talking about vacations and new houses and cars… I wasn’t comfortable with that either, I fear that I never will be. But at the same time, I wasn’t ready to give up on the dream of Alex, Michael and I being a family either. It was definitely a quandary.
When I got back to the house I ran into Karen in the foyer. She hugged me and congratulated me on the baby. It was strange and a little bit uncomfortable to be the mistress of the house where I used to work. I wasn’t quite sure what to say to the people I used to talk with and joke and laugh with on a daily basis. She was actually deferential to me, which really freaked me out.
“Thank you, Karen. He’s amazing that’s for sure. Have you seen him?” She smiled and her uncomfortableness seemed to disappear.
“I just came from upstairs. I was checking on the new upstairs maid and I looked in on Mr. Reigns… both of them…” She had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as she said, “It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. You’ll just have to go up and take a look for yourself.”
“Well now you’ve peaked my curiosity. It was so good to see you, Karen.”
“You too, Miss…”
“Karen?”
“Yes?”
“It’s Victoria or Vicki, just like it has always been.”
She smiled, “It was good to see you, Vicki. Your son is beautiful.”
“Thank you.”