I keep resigning myself back to the bed with my sketchpad. It’s the only thing I can get myself to do. Anytime I try to focus on something else, my thoughts drift back to Calder, and I grow angry and hurt. Angry that he made me long for something I never knew I wanted. The very thing I always told myself I didn’t want in order to protect myself.
He’d gotten past my defenses and made me feel safe enough to open myself up to him. He made me feel wanted and loved. More than anything, he made me feel like I belonged. Then he took it all away. Some people say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. But my heart begs to differ. I’d rather be ignorant to it all.
A knock sounds at the bedroom door before it opens. I close my laptop as Frederick lets himself right in. I can’t believe I let myself come back to this hotel. But I didn’t really have any other choice. It’s not as if my mother even bothered to reach out to me once I left. I shouldn’t be surprised by that, but somehow I still am.
“There’s a lawyer here. Fred Mason.” I wondered if I’d be hearing from him soon. I was supposed to stay at the Justices for three months. Kind of hard to do when they kick you out.
“Tell him I’m busy.” I couldn’t care less about anything to do with Earl’s stupid will. I don’t want any part of it.
“No.” Frederick folds his arms over his chest.
“I’m not feeling well.”
“We’re not going there, or I will lose my mind.” He steps over to the end of the bed. “Unless you’re ready to face why you’re not feeling well,” he challenges.
“Okay. I’ll see the lawyer.” I pop out of the bed like my ass is on fire.
“What I thought,” Frederick mumbles as I make myself presentable.
Fred stands from the couch when I walk out of the master suite. “Ms. Rodgers.” He offers me his hand. “I’m glad that you are willing to see me. I wanted to get all of this cleared up.” I motion to the couch. He sits back down.
“What is it that you need from me?”
“It’s my understanding you were forced off the ranch.” His words are like a hot poker to my heart.
“What does it matter?”
“Well, they can’t force you off. You can go back, and there is nothing any of them can do to stop that.”
“I’m not going back.”
“That means you’re forfeiting your claim.”
“Yes.” I don’t want it. I can’t help but ask what will happen to the blue diamond and the property in Vail. “Who gets it now?”
“It will go to Calder Justice.”
“Right.” I shake my head. “This is so stupid. Why did Earl do this? Calder pushed me to come even after I said I didn’t want it.” Anger rushes forward. I welcome it over the tears.
“Earl always had a method to his madness.”
“That's so not helpful.” I stand back up. A wave of dizziness comes over me. I fight it off. “But we’re done, right?” I ask, wanting to go back to bed. I need this to be over so that I can put it behind me.
“Calder still wants to pay you for the land and the ring.” He did not just say that after spending the last few minutes trying to get me to go back to the ranch.
“Not that I’ll take a penny from Calder, but if that was the case, why were you pushing for me to go back to the ranch?” I throw my hands up. Men are frustrating and they speak in stupid riddles.
“I want what Earl requested to be fulfilled. I had to make one last push.”
“Well please don’t. I don’t want anything from the Justice men. They’ve taken from me all I have to give.”
“I understand.” He stands. “Is there any message you’d like me to send back?”
“No.”
He nods. “I’ll show myself out.” I watch as Fred departs. Frederick comes back into the room. I know he was listening.
“You’re going to have to tell him you're pregnant.”
“We don’t know if that’s true,” I start to protest. Okay, maybe I know already. I haven't taken a test or anything, but I know.
“Why are you running from this?”
“I don’t want him to come back to me because I’m pregnant.” I admit the truth. I rest my hand on my stomach. “I want to be picked. I want to be enough.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Calder
“Why is there shit on the porch?” I shout, slamming the back door behind me.
“Because they’re cleaning out the gutters like you asked so that there aren’t any hornets’ nests up there. Their gear will be gone tomorrow,” Tucker explains. He points his fork at the empty chair. “Meanwhile, your food’s getting cold because you were too ornery to come in earlier.”