"I don't even know how he feels about me, Tina," I admitted, hearing the vulnerability sneak into my voice. She was the only friend I had in the world at the moment. And Luca paid her to be around me. Wasn't that just a little bit pathetic?
"Yes, and you know how you know that?"
"How?" I asked, hoping for some sage maternal advice, the kind of snippets mother figures always seemed to be chock full of.
"You talk to him, mija. You talk. You say 'I have feelings.' And then maybe he says he has feelings too. And then you both decide what that means. All this thinking," she repeated, shaking her head, "and not enough talking. That is the problem."
And, well, that was the problem for most of us, wasn't it?
"You know, Romina," she said, stopping what she was doing to level her wise gaze at me. "I have worked for Mr. Grassi for years. You know a lot about a man when you clean his bedroom and put away his wash. I know that no woman has stayed more than a few nights. He dates, but his heart, it has never been in it. It's just... he's a man. Men have needs. But his heart, always untouched."
"So you're saying I'm just another in the long list of conquests?" I asked, grimacing.
"No, silly girl. He looks at you like he's a starving man, and you are a warm meal."
"I already know he... wants me, Tina. I'm not talking about want."
"He buys you things. He makes you coffee before he goes to work. He thinks about you when he doesn't have to think about you. Men don't do that for lust, mija. So talk to him. That's my advice," she concluded, giving me a nod as she gathered the garbage and headed down the elevator.
She'd only been by every other day, but I still couldn't get used to being waited on. That said, I knew that my mother used to say it made her uncomfortable when she was on a job and someone there tried to help her. It threw her off her flow.
So to make it less awkward for the both of us since I really wasn't supposed to leave the apartment yet, I engaged her, learning about her kids, finding out how long she'd been in the area, what Luca was like to work for.
She, in turn, took an interest in what was going on between Luca and me. She didn't pry, but she asked how we were, how long we'd been seeing each other.
Worried, I had brought it up to Luca. Not to get her in trouble, but because I knew he was always worried about outsiders being privy to his personal information.
He'd actually chuckled, slinging an arm around my lower back, pulling me into his body to place a kiss on my temple.
"Her husband has worked for my father for nearly twenty years. They practically watched us grow up, so she is interested in a more maternal way. She is as loyal as they come."
"Okay good. I just wanted to check. I don't want you to think I am tattling or anything. I just know privacy is important."
"No, I'm glad you asked. Always ask if you're not sure. I appreciate it"
In a strange way, I was pretty sure he was almost, I don't know, proud of me in that moment.
Stranger still, I felt like I'd just gotten praise and approval, something that made me feel light and warm inside.
Silly?
Yes.
But true nonetheless.
Once Tina was gone, I ate my salad, catching some snippets of the news, curious if the police or FBI had found out anything else about my sister.
A part of me was worried now that they were on the case, that it would make the traffickers panic, have them scrapping the whole mission.
Luca had assured me that it was too late for the ship to turn around. He relented, though, when I pressed, agreeing that, yes, if the ship hadn't taken off yet, that this could scare them into not doing it.
There were no satisfactory solutions to that possible problem, but I was going to let myself choose hope. I was going to believe my sister was just a couple more days away, that qualified professionals would be there to meet her if she was, that she would be in my arms again after a trip to the hospital and a talk with the police.
There was no use worrying about every possible way this whole situation could go wrong. It wouldn't change the outcome, and would only accomplish making me sick every moment of the day up until we finally knew what was going on.
Besides, there were other things going on in Navesink Bank, other things to worry about.
Lorenzo was going to be in town.