“Bard, please…” She had that pleading look in her big, dark eyes. “Makenna needs—”
“If you’re going to say you want me to ‘heal’ you again, then I’m sorry baby girl—the answer is no,” he said sternly. “We can’t do that anymore. We can’t do any of it anymore.”
She looked up at him uncertainly.
“Makenna doesn’t understand.”
“It’s wrong,” Bard ground out. “What we’ve been doing is wrong, baby girl! I can’t bond you to me! It dishonors the memory of my mate and it would be wrong to tie your beautiful young life to my old one. We can’t do it!”
His voice rose almost to a roar on the last words and his vehemence seemed to shock and frighten her. For the first time, she cowered away from him, her dark eyes filled with fear.
Bard felt horrible. Seeing that look in her eyes—which was the same way she’d looked at the Trollox, Biter, who had been trying to buy her—directed at himself made him feel like the worst male in existence.
Well, aren’t you? whispered the little voice in his head—the voice of his guilt and shame. Haven’t you been doing things you shouldn’t do with a female who’s much too young for you? And now you’ve hurt and frightened her into the bargain. Great going, Bard.
“Look, Makenna—” he began, but her eyes were already bright with unshed tears.
Tiny whined sadly and came over to her. Though he was so much taller than her, he crouched low and put his shaggy head on her shoulder.
Makenna wrapped her arms around the big animal’s neck and buried her face in his fur.
Seeing his pet comforting the woman he cared for, Bard felt even worse. He took a step towards them but Tiny gave him a look from his yellowish-green eyes that said, “Haven’t you done enough damage for now?”
“Yeah, okay,” Bard muttered, taking a step back again. He watched as Makenna and the big Ya’greer went back into the spare bedroom. His last sight was of Makenna lying in the middle of the big bed with Tiny curled protectively around her petite frame.
And then the door slid shut, leaving Bard alone in the living area, feeling like complete and utter shit.
23
“What about sending her to First World?” Commander Sylvan offered, after Bard had told him all—well, almost all—of what had been going on with Makenna. He was well aware that the story made him sound like a dirty old male taking advantage of an innocent young girl, but he had to be honest with the Head of the High Council.
“First World?” he asked, frowning.
“Sure. It should be perfect for her since it’s peopled mainly by priestesses now—my cousin, Nadiah and her mate Rast oversee them. I can ask Nadiah to keep an eye out for Makenna, if you like.”
It seemed like a good solution on paper, Bard thought. First World was the Kindred’s home planet—the place the Goddess had created for them before they became a space-faring race. Makenna would be safe there and hopefully happy too, with lots of nice priestesses to make friends with. Hell, maybe she’d decided to become a priestess herself…
You’re only thinking that because you hope she doesn’t find some other male to bond with, whispered an accusing little voice in his head.
Bard supposed it was true. Of course, no Kindred male would want to come anywhere near her right now—he had Marked her thoroughly over and over with his scent. But eventually his scent would wear off and Makenna was a beautiful female—he was certain someone else would want her…
So what if someone else wants her? the voice of his guilt demanded. You don’t get any say in her life anymore—you’re giving her up!
The thought of that—of watching her walk out of his life—was like a sucker punch to his gut. It literally made him ache.
“I can see that giving her up is painful for you, Brother,” Sylvan said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you absolutely sure it’s necessary?”
“Of course it is!” Bard’s voice was harsh in his own ears. “Look at me, Sylvan—I’m too fucking old for her! She’s half my age. And besides, it dishonors Rilla’s memory for me to even think of taking another mate.”
“I would think that Rilla would want you to be happy,” Sylvan said quietly. “She loved you, Bard. I know your mating was short, but it was a happy one, wasn’t it?”
Bard sighed. “So happy. I remember thinking that my cheeks ached, because I couldn’t stop smiling.”
And hadn’t he been feeling the same way with Makenna? Hadn’t he enjoyed her company—enjoyed having female companionship again after so many years?
He loved taking her shopping and watching her delight in buying pretty new things. Taking her to walk in the parklands around the Sacred Grove where they took off their shoes and boots and walked barefoot in the lush, green and purple grass.