The hot water felt good—way better than the cold wind and rain, for sure—and some of the tension started to leave my back and shoulders as the steam started to rise up around me.
“God, what was that even about?” I asked myself out loud for probably the hundredth time since I’d set out on my walk back to the bungalow. “Why me? Why now?”
Ever since Micah and Axel first attempted to apologize, those same questions circled around and around in my head.
There had to be some kind of reason behind it, right? Some kind of ulterior motive?
I still wasn't totally convinced that it wasn’t all some sort of elaborate prank even if they both seemed so sincere. Those apologies... neither of them seemed forced. They hadn’t tried to make excuses for what they’d done, and they hadn’t held back from condemning the way they’d acted when they were teenagers.
I respected that even if it confused the hell out of me at the same time.
Piling my hair on top of my head, I let the water beat against my shoulders for several long minutes—God, what I wouldn’t have given for a massage after such a crazy night.
I was half-tempted to call Muriel and Poppy to tell them Micah and Axel had apparently been possessed by aliens or something.
Hot, nice aliens who admitted they had a crush on me back in the day.
And that shocked my entire system on top of everything else. Was that the reason why they’d been so hell-bent on apologizing? A crush? I found it too incredible to believe that lay behind the bullying.
Did they still feel the same way? Micah’s eyes told a whole story when he’d looked at me that last time right before I left. But it was a story I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear. I wasn’t sure if I was ready.
Or if I ever would be.
Still, they had both always been hot. No denying that. And they’d only gotten hotter in the years that passed since I’d last seen them.
Was that the only reason why I was starting to second-guess myself? Because they were hot and I wanted to get laid?
Maybe.
That was part of it, for sure. I’d never cared too much before if a one-night stand happened to be a nice guy the other three hundred and sixty-four days of the year. Why should I care when it came to Micah and Axel? I could have my fun and go years without seeing them again if I wanted to.
Just a quick night of fun to get it out of our systems, and then we could all pretend like it never happened.
Except that thought didn’t excite me much, either.
I scrubbed my body with the hotel soap and cursed myself for forgetting to bring my own when the cloying scent stuck to my body.
Better than the smell of rain and sweat, though, if I had to choose.
Every minute that passed had me circling back to the same old questions: What was I going to do about Axel and Micah? It was inevitable that I’d see them again at the wedding.
That was definitely going to happen, so I should have a plan of action in place for when it did. My rebellious brain wouldn’t cooperate. It wouldn’t plan, all it wanted to think about was the way Micah had looked at me or the sincere, vulnerable, emotional tone Axel had taken when I first refused to talk.
God, when did I become such a mess? And such a pushover! I’d had every intention of telling those guys to fuck right off from the minute they’d started talking.
Seriously.
I hadn’t even planned on giving it a second thought. But then, something had changed. I saw past all the macho, immature bullshit from years ago, and the men staring back at me were... genuinely nice.
They were guys I would have wanted to hang out with if things had been different. They had both checked their egos at the door. They’d been so humble and honest that all my resolve and my defenses had just crumbled in front of them.
Well, almost all of my resolve. I’d still walked out on them when it came down to it.
I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grateful for the fluffy towel and the even fluffier bathrobe waiting for me there.
Focus, Jasmine. Stop thinking about those guys for five damn seconds.
Okay.
O-kay. I could do that. At least for five seconds.
I just needed a plan.
But the moment I sat down on the edge of that comfortable bed and realized just how tired I was after such a crazy, stressful, unexpected evening?
Yeah, that plan had to wait. The only thing I needed more than a clear head and a plan was some sleep.
I knew that all of my other issues would still be waiting for me in the morning.