I glanced in both directions, hoping no one was watching us.
“I don’t care who sees. You fucked up, and now you’re going to pay.”
Did he mean… “Devil, not here. You can’t—”
“You’re going to pay by admitting it all right here, right now.”
“Fuck.”
“Did you really think you were getting off as easy as a hate fuck? Hell no.”
I squirmed under his angry gaze. He was right. This was much worse. Devil holding me down and using me hard, even not letting me come, was nothing I didn’t want, but this, having to tell him I’d kept this from him, that I’d let him assign others to hunt for Donaldson and take me out of town without saying anything, that was going to hurt so much more. “Let go of me so no one calls the police.”
“Start talking, and I’ll consider it.”
“Donaldson has been sending me threatening letters.”
“For how long?”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to look away, but I didn’t. “A year.”
“What did they say?” Devil’s voice was cool and sharp, and each word stabbed my chest. I would have preferred it if he’d punched me.
“He reminded me it was my fault he lost years of his life and promised to get revenge. He said… he said he would destroy me.”
Devil released my shirt and stepped back. As soon as there was space between us, I wished I hadn’t asked him to let me go. I wanted him close because if his hands were on me, I wouldn’t worry he was about to walk away.
“So you thought it was okay not to tell me any of this. You’ve been searching for him for weeks and never once mentioned he’d threatened you personally.”
“You were already worried about how much time I was spending on the case, and you—”
“You should have told me before you ever started looking for him. You should have told me the first time you received a letter. What the fuck, Joe? I want to take care of you, to protect you. I would never have brought us up here before I dealt with this threat if you’d told me—”
“It’s not yours to deal with, it’s mine, and you didn’t give me a choice about coming up here.” Devil took another step back, and I wanted to pull those words back and swallow them. I didn’t mean what I’d said, and it wasn’t true. Devil had told me he’d bring me back to Boston if I really didn’t want to go on the trip, and I’d had ample opportunity to tell him before we reached the cabin.
He wrapped his hand around my throat, pressing me against the wall. I didn’t care that he was choking me because that was so much better than him leaving me there, knowing my broken heart was my own damn fault.
Instead of worrying about how easily he could kill me, I prayed no one would notice us, but how could they not? The town was full of tourists walking back and forth along Main Street. At least we were away from the bulk of the crowd.
Devil’s hand tightened until instinct kicked in, and I started to struggle. I should have been terrified, but all I felt was guilt and shame.
Tears burned my eyes. As they started to fall, he let go of my throat and cupped my cheeks. I readied myself for the worst. Would he tell me he was going back home and ask me not to follow him? Would he—
He kissed me. His lips slid over mine, and they weren’t angry, they weren’t harsh, they were sweet and soft, and so damn good. I wrapped my hands around his neck, threading them into his hair, and I kissed him back. I kissed him as though only he could keep me alive. And maybe that was true, maybe that was how much I needed him. I realized if he’d chosen to walk away, if he’d decided marrying me had been a mistake, I wasn’t sure I could put the pieces of myself back together. Devil was my world.
Right there in that little Vermont town after I spilled my secrets, I handed Devil my soul. I’d thought I was all in before, and I had been in every practical way, but it was then I truly felt what it meant to become one with him, to drop all my barriers.
When he broke the kiss, my tears flowed harder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you. I shouldn’t have come away with you. I shouldn’t have—”
He brushed my tears away with his thumbs. “Shhh. I love you, Joe.”
“I know. I love you too. I need you. I… I wanted to keep you out of it, even though I knew how stupid that was, but now we’re here, and he’s followed us, and you’re in as much danger as I am. If he’s done any research at all, and I know he has, he knows harming you would hurt me worse than anything else he could do.”