I’m not a slut. I’m just—a woman who can’t find the right man for her. And I’m a woman who likes to have sex but doesn’t want the commitment. Commitment is scary. It’s a trap. I’ve heard my parents argue a lot over the years, and that’s one of the things my dad accused my mother of doing. She trapped him.
That’s some scary shit.
Hayden says I’m in love with the idea of falling in love. I enjoy the chase. The rush and thrill of finding someone new. Once that’s over, I’m done. I’ve lost interest.
Pretty sure she’s right.
I’m also scared of what comes after the chase. I’ve never stuck around long enough to find out.
“You couldn’t be so lucky,” Hayden says with a laugh. When she notes my wounded look, her laughter dies. “I wasn’t meaning it in a bad way, Gracie. It’s just—whenever that big perv finds the woman he falls in love with, he’s going to lavish her with so much attention, it’s going to be unreal.”
“You really believe that?” I can’t imagine Caleb in love with anyone.
Just like I can’t see it for myself either.
“I do,” she says with a nod. “He’s the type to fall hard. It’s because he’s in complete denial of his feelings. He thinks he’s incapable of love.”
“What? He told you that?” I’m in shock.
“No, I’m just making assumptions, though he’s given me little clues. And Tony’s told me things. Caleb is scared of his future. He thinks it’s going to be boring.”
“Caleb is the furthest thing from boring,” I say with a little snort.
“Right? I know. But he truly believes he’s going to simply settle for everything in life in the future, so why not live it up now?” Hayden shakes her head. “His logic is troublesome.”
“I’ll say.”
The server chooses that moment to ask if we need refills and I let Hayden talk to her, the two of them carrying on a conversation as if they know each other while I sit with my thoughts.
Caleb thinks he’s boring? And that he’s going to end up settling for a mediocre life? This doesn’t sound like the Caleb I know. Why should he have to settle for anything? He can be whatever he wants—and whoever he wants—if he so chooses. Who convinced him that he can’t?
This thought leads to more thoughts, and makes me realize I definitely need to approach him before I just show up at Mitchell’s Landing screaming out, “Surprise!” when I see him.
He deserves to know.
Three
Caleb
I’m kicking it in my room, exhausted. Freshly showered. Jerked off in the shower too because why not. Work kicked my ass today and I’m ready to crash. I’ve got my AirPods in my ears and I’m listening to some jams with my eyes closed. My ceiling fan on high because even though it’s only early June, it’s hot as balls outside and the air conditioning in this apartment is subpar.
At least it works, so I shouldn’t complain.
I’m drifting, thinking about absolutely nothing when there’s a light knock on my door. I crack my eyes open, staring at the fan in the semi-darkness of my room. The blinds are closed but there’s a light outside shining directly into my room. All night long.
Fucking sucks.
There’s another knock, followed by a whispery voice.
“Caleb? Are you awake?”
Oh fuck. It’s Gracie.
I sit up, shoving my fingers through my damp hair to push it into place before I yank my AirPods out of my ears. “Yeah, come in.”
The door slowly creaks open and she’s standing in the doorway, the light from her open bedroom door across the hall casting her in a silhouette. And what a silhouette it is. The girl has a bangin’ body. I kind of can’t get over it. I think it’s her legs. They’re so damn long. Like, how long would it take me to kiss every square inch of them, huh? Hours, probably. What would it feel like to have them wrapped around me tight while I fucked her hard?
Pretty damn good, I’d bet.