“Shocker,” Pan scoffed. “All you’ve done over the past few years is keep everything to yourself.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s like pulling teeth just to have a real conversation with you.”
“Why, because I decided to stop wallowing in my own self-pity?”
“Why does it have to be about that?”
“Because life hasn’t been a fucking bed of roses for me Pan. You’ve had blinders on. Like, if you ignore reality, it doesn’t exist. I didn’t have the luxury. People treat me like a pariah…it’s a fact, not an opinion. Women were freaked out or grossed out by me on the regular. Especially, the vain ass bitches we deal with. The tag-teaming we did was them throwing me a bone to h
ave you. I got sick of living in your shadow. So, yeah, I went internal. You should’ve understood why.”
“All I wanted was my twin brother back! You turned into a virtual stranger.”
“No, I turned into the man I needed to be to survive. It wasn’t personal. Can’t you see that? We couldn’t carry on the way we once had, when we’re night and day.” Monster sighed and shook his head. He’d no clue why his brother acted this way. “Why didn’t you just ask me, man?”
“You were so fucking prickly, and it hurt to see you suffering and struggling and know I was the source of all your pain. I tried to bring you out of it and show you a good time whenever I could. But it was like you resented it.”
“I resented you feeling like you had to throw me a bone. The fire didn’t damage my brain or make me weak. It changed the things I wanted and valued in life. You’re still in playboy mode and I wanted more.”
“And you found that now, I suppose?”
“Yeah, I did.” Monster exhaled. “I asked Symone to marry me and she said yes.”
“Of course she did.” Pan threw his hands up in the air. “Now you two can couple down, shit out a few kids, and leave me in the dust.”
“Did I say I was going to do that?” Monster barked.
“Everything okay here, boys?”
Monster turned to see a narrow-eyed Lefty standing a few feet away.
“Yeah, we’re cool.”
“I came to relieve you for the day,” Lefty said.
Monster nodded his thanks.
“I suggest you take this shit outside and lower your volume. Demon will have your head if you cause a scene right now.”
“Understood,” Pan said.
Monster stalked to the stairwell with his brother on his heels.
“We can’t keep this shit up. It’s going to cause drama within the club,” Pan said.
“Seems like you’re the one with all the issues. I accepted our lives for what they were a long time ago and now, I’m finally happy. I can’t force myself to get over your betrayal. That has to happen in time. I’m not going to cut you out of my life. We’re not high school girls.”
“So…what? I sit around and wait for your blessing to come down?” Pan spat.
“Yeah, you do…” Monster paused at the start of the next floor. “And maybe you can find out who you are without the guilt eating you up. This freed us both, brother. It’s time we figured out who Hayes and Hartley are again. For too long, this shit has overshadowed most of our lives.”
“I don’t understand what you want from me,” Pan said, running his hands through his hair.
“Nothing. I want you to be happy. I’m not mad. I’m hurt. There’s a difference.” Monster rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder and met his gaze. “You don’t have to make up anything to me, Hartley. You live for you now, understand?”
Pan gave a short nod of understanding. His eyes grew glossy.