“In time, we’ll be fine. Hell, you’ll be standing up beside me soon while I get married and be the godfather of my children. This is just a wake-up call to shit that’s been fucked between us for a while now.”
“How can you forgive me so easily? I ruined your life!”
“No. Dad did that.” Monster squeezed his brother’s shoulder and released. “You didn’t force him to put that bottle to his lips every day, or raise his hands to Mom or us. He did that all on his own. You were young and trying to help. I get that. I say it's time you forgive yourself because I don’t hold a damn thing against you. I just wish you’d trusted me to help you shoulder the burden.”
“I didn’t want you to know. I was too—ashamed,” Pan choked out the words.
The pain visible in his eyes created a dull ache in Monster’s chest. This entire time, the life of the party had been bleeding out on the inside. “Nothing to be ashamed about, but I do think we should keep this between us.”
“Understood.” Pan nodded and cleared his throat. “I think I’m going to take a knee and get ghost for the weekend. I’m glad you and Symone are solid.”
“Thank you. If you need me, I’m a call away.”
“Yeah.” Pan nodded and headed down the stairwell.
He squashed down the urge to go after him. Some journeys had to be traveled alone. Only Pan could figure out what he needed. Concerned, but determined not to fall back into the same pattern, he brought his thoughts back to Symone, who was having her own judgment day. He’d texted earlier and found she was meeting up with Gia. Determined to let her sort her shit, he headed for the club to play a few rounds of pool and chill with his brothers. That’s the best part about having the club. It was a giant family with someone always available to stave off boredom and loneliness. Despite the unexpected admission by Pan, he felt better than he had in years. He only hoped Pan would come to discover the same peace.
Epilogue
“He didn’t waste any time, did he?” Gia teased as she arranged the Noah’s ark themed paper plates and cups.
“Pot, meet Kettle,” Symone said, rubbing her belly. In five more months, they’d be welcoming a new member into the Sumner family.
Gia grinned. She had seven more months to go with her and Lefty’s first born.
“God, you two are going to make me throw up,” Chase snapped.
Symone chuckled. “Don’t worry. You can’t catch pregnancy in the water.”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure.” Chase pulled her shirt up over her mouth. “Just breathing the air too close to you two makes me antsy.” She walked backward away from them and returned to the opposite side of the room where Monster and Pan were hanging decorations.
The two women laughed as they watched her.
“I’m glad he came,” Gia said.
“Me too. I went over to the clubhouse and asked him personally.” Symone sighed. Pan hadn’t fared well over the past six months. He’d taken to drinking too much and keeping his distance from Monster. It was sad. Monster tried to patch the bridge, but everything he said went in one ear and out the other.
“It’s sad to see him go down like this. He’s like sad clown now.” Gia shook her head. “Do you know what happened?”
“I don’t know. I think Monster sort of moving in a different direction made him feel abandoned,” Symone suggested.
“I can see that. I hope he snaps out of it soon,” Gia said.
“You and me both, he’s the baby’s godfather.”
“Hey, good people,” Demon called.
Symone smiled and waddled over to greet them.
“Welcome, guys, thank you for coming.”
“We wouldn’t miss it, Sy,” Demon greeted as he walked in, carrying Ara Lee in her polka dot baby carrier.
Rocket and Harley trailed behind them as they stepped inside. Ardy looked radiant. The baby had given her body womanly curves. The sparkle in her eyes and easy smile on her lips showed her passion for her new role. It had inspired Symone, and turned her fear at being a mother-to-be into a wondrous experience. Where she came from, kids were a curse, an inconvenience you didn’t want to happen to you. But here, among these people, she’d learned differently.
As the club members piled into the community room of the condo, she continued to mingle with Monster at her side. Somehow, she’d found her place here among these rough riders and the brave women who loved them. It wasn’t always easy, loving a man who had to leave at a moment’s notice. He couldn’t tell her where he was going, what he’d be doing, or when he’d be coming back. But the women banded together and had each other’s backs. It was a situation she understood well, after growing up in a compound with all women.
“Who’s ready for dessert?” Monster yelled.