“It’s not that. I want to be near you, but when I’m near you I want more. A lot more of you, and I can’t do that right now. I need this to go slow, because God knows, Trevor, all you have to do is kiss me and I think we both know I’m yours.”
Taking her hand in mine, I squeezed it. “That’s why I’ve been stopping myself today. You have no idea how much I wanted to push you onto that bed today and make love to you. But I respect what you’ve asked from me. I’m not giving up on us, Scarlett, so don’t take my behavior as giving up because I’d love nothing more than to do just the opposite of what I’m doing right now. But I’m giving you space.”
She smiled.
“I’m going to fight for us. It might have taken me forever to figure out that what I had in front of me was what I needed, and I may have lost you, but I’m not giving up until you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me. I can’t live without you, babe. I’m not sure if you’ll ever be able to believe me, but I’m going to do my best to show you…and to show our baby.”
“I want desperately to not feel scared and unsure about us. To stop wondering if you’re in love with me…or simply in love with the feeling of us. My mind and my heart are all over the place,” she said.
We sat for a few seconds just staring at each other before she cleared her throat. “We better get in there before our folks come looking for us.”
With a nod, I climbed out of the truck. Every possible emotion felt like it was running through my body. I needed to get it under control in less than two seconds or Scarlett and our families would be able to see that her words had just rocked me to the core.
Trevor’s face wore an emotion I’d never seen on him before.
Fear.
“Damn it,” I whispered as I watched him plaster on a fake smile as he opened the door. If I kept Trevor at a distance for too long, would he give up? I’d heard so much conviction in his voice that I knew that wouldn’t happen. Then why was I so afraid to let him in?
Because if you give him your whole heart he’ll have the power to hurt you again.
My head was spinning. Trevor had hurt me more times than I could count, but he had also never promised me anything before. I knew how much he cared about me from his whispered confessions, but he hadn’t been ready for more. Was he truly ready now?
“Ready?”
The word made me stall for a quick moment. I smiled. “Ready.”
“Let’s go celebrate the fact that my super sperm got you pregnant on the first run!”
Laughing, I hit him in the stomach. “Super sperm? Okay, Clark Kent,” I said as my cheeks heated.
“What? It’s true. I’ve heard some people have to try for months or even years to get pregnant. We did it in one round and weren’t even trying. I think that says something about my sperm and their super-potent abilities.”
“We had sex at the right time of month is what that means.”
Trevor took my hand, and I didn’t pull it away. I needed to give him a little encouragement, and I liked the warmth of his body against mine in whatever small way I could get it right now. Trevor calmed me. And even though we had already told our parents, I was still feeling uneasy about this dinner. I couldn’t help but wonder if my parents were putting on a happy face simply for the Parkers.
“Good evening. How are y’all doing?” the hostess asked as she smiled at me and then Trevor.
“We are doing great! Here to celebrate. You should have a reservation for Parker.”
A bigger smile erupted on the young girl’s face. “Oh! Yes, the rest of your party is here. Y’all are in the back room we reserve for private parties.”
“Private parties?” I asked, looking up at Trevor.
He shrugged. “Mom must want to get drunk and loud.”
I laughed. “I can’t see that ever happening.”
Trevor rolled his eyes, “Oh baby, you just wait. You’re now stuck forever with this family and let me tell you, my momma can knock back the booze and let her hair down. You have met my sisters, right?”
The hostess chuckled. “If y’all will follow me, I’ll show you to the room.”
Trevor placed his hand on my lower back, making my lower stomach pull with more than desire. Lust. Want. Need. This man was driving me insane, and I wasn’t sure if it was simply because we hadn’t been around in each other in weeks or because he was purposely trying not to touch me. Either way, my libido was through the roof