“Anyone who talks like that about you should expect to get their head taken off,” I say unrepentantly.
“You can’t fight the whole world. There will always be someone who doesn’t approve of us.”
“I suggest they learn to do it silently. This is as much your home as it is mine. Why should you walk around trying to avoid landmines you didn’t even place?” I seethe. I’m never going to feel like I’ve made up for the way things went down between us.
“That’s like saying life’s not fair. We know that. No use stating the obvious.”
Her droll tone makes me laugh. The release cracks the shell of anger engulfing me. “You got a point.”
“I usually do. Now calm your ass down, go in there, make nice, and come home to me in one piece. Don’t let them fuck up what you worked so hard to build. Keep your standing with Stone good, and it’ll sway him toward you. The only way to be victorious over Mouth, is to beat him at his own game.”
“And how do we do that?”
“We make him show his ass. The minute he lets Stone see his hate is more important than the Kings, he’s out of there.”
“And you think he’ll take it that far?” I ask, trying not to reveal how skeptical I am.
“What he feels isn’t rational. He’ll put everything on the line eventually, to try to end us. Trust me, I’m a doctor…well okay, not a doctor, but a licensed psychologist.”
“Good enough for me, babe,” I say, feeling a million times lighter. “I think I’m ready to go in and do what I need to do now.”
“Call me if you need me.”
The words are everything I never thought I’d hear again. “I will. Love you, girl.”
“Love you, too, Echo.”
Chapter Six
Dixie Rose
Past
I push the heavy door to the clubhouse open and run down the hall to the bathroom. My bladder is fit to bursting. My shoes pound over the floor as I skid to a halt in front of the door, push it open, shut it, turn the lock, and rush over to the toilet. I use the one in Stone’s office, like my dad told me to. It’s the one that’s always clean. Shoving down my underwear and shorts, I plop down and sigh. I lost track of time playing with the other kids. I love get-togethers. There’s always plenty of food, and I get to see everyone. Usually, it’s just me, Blue, Joel, Calla, and baby Shayne. Finishing up, I wash my hands and leave the office. I enter the hallway and freeze.
He’s there waiting for me at the end of the hallway.
My heart speeds, my palms sweat, and my tummy aches. Daddy says I can trust all the Kings of Chaos brothers, but I don’t like him. He looks at me funny and says mean things when no one else is around. I told my daddy once, and they got into a fight. Stone didn’t like that. He’s the boss, and what he says goes. I don’t want to get Daddy in trouble, so I stopped tattling. “No one likes a snitch, Dixie Rose, remember that.” My father’s words stand out in my mind clearly.
My lower lip trembles.
His lips stretch into a smile.
It should make me feel nice, but it doesn’t. I shove my hands in my pockets and begin the trek down the hallway that I swear has gotten longer.
“Well, if it isn’t the darkie, who likes to pretend she belongs here.”
I dig my fingernails into my palms. Be brave. I don’t know what to say, so I look at the ground and walk faster.
“One day, they’re going to wake up and realize what I already know. You don’t belong here, little girl.”
I shove the door open and run out into the sunshine. Is he right? Will they all start to hate me like he does? I wrap my arms around my waist. If it wasn’t true, why would Mouth say it? Confused, and sad, I wander through the club looking for my dad. On the way, I realize no one else in my family looks like me. How can I belong when I so clearly stand out like a sore thumb? I look at my skin, and wish I could change my color to fit in.
~~
Present
I wake up and shudder as I scramble to take myself away from the first moment I betrayed myself and fed into Mouth’s lies. My skin is dappled in sweat. I push the sticky sheets away from my body and slowly ease into a sitting position. They’re back. The dreams once stole away the majority of my sleep. I should’ve known they would return. Running my hand through my hair I take a deep breath.