Leaning my forehead against my horse, I let the tears fall. “I don’t know what to do, Cooper. I love him so much and I feel so empty when he’s not here. But I want him to be happy, and I feel broken.”
A soft whine came from my horse as he took a few steps away. His eyes piercing mine.
“I can’t hide out in here forever, can I?”
He took his foot and dug at the dirt.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
He kept going, hitting the ground harder and faster.
“Okay! Okay! I get it. I’m leaving, but it’s on you if I don’t come back tomorrow for your snack.”
Making my way out of the barn, I caught a glimpse of Steed coming down in the Mule with Jonathon sitting next to him. I slipped back into the barn and into Cooper’s stall. I slowly slid down and sat in the corner. I knew Cooper would ignore me; I’d slept in his stall on more than one occasion.
“Corina said she was walking down here, and Mitchell said she comes down here everyday.”
I could hear Jonathon sigh. “Tell me what I’m doing wrong, Steed. I’m trying to give her space, but I don’t want to give her too much space. I’m trying to figure out what she needs, but every time I talk to her she acts like she’s fine and tells me she’s just tired. I’m going out of my goddamn mind. I go to hug her or kiss her, and she fucking flinches. God, I don’t know what to do!”
Burying my face in my hands, I tried like hell not to cry.
“Jonathon, I wish I had some magical, fix-everything words for you, but I’m the worst person to give advice. I think it’s clear to all of us how much you love Waylynn, and I know she loves you. My parents are beside themselves trying to figure out what to do, too. She refuses to talk to anyone, and my mom said any time your name is brought up, Waylynn starts to talk about the studio.”
“She’s going back to work tomorrow. The doctor gave her clearance.”
“You went with her?” Steed asked. Guilt pulled in my stomach.
“Yes, but I had to find out from her mom when her appointment was. I showed up and asked to wait in the room, so she wouldn’t tell me to leave.”
Steed laughed. “I bet she was pissed when she saw you in there.”
“That’s putting it mildly. I think that’s why she refused to let me cook her dinner tonight. I know she’s staying back at her house now. I’ve been sitting outside until two in the morning, until I see her turn off her bedroom lights.”
I wiped my tears away and leaned my chin on my knees, trying to breathe slowly. I wanted to stand and tell them I was there, but it was too late. I’d already eavesdropped on the conversation too much. I could hear the hurt and confusion in Jonathon’s voice and it killed me. I had only one option and that was to break up with Jonathon.
Steed let out a sigh. “Damn, I wish I knew what to tell you.”
“Yeah, so do I. Let’s head on out. She’s probably walking one of the trails. I’ll try to give her a call later.”
I lifted my head and strained to hear as they walked out of the barn. Once I heard the Mule start, I stood and gave Cooper a pat.
“Thanks for not outing me, boy.”
He turned his back and neighed.
“Men. You all stick together, don’t you?” And as I walked out of the stall, and out of the barn, I made the decision that I had to walk out of Jonathon’s life for good.
Chapter Thirty
Waylynn
Dropping my phone on my desk, I glanced at my calendar. It had been seven weeks since the accident. I was back at work full-time, not teaching yet, but at least I was there. I’d missed the first month and a half of my dance studio being open and that pissed me off more than I wanted to admit. Maggie and Samantha had done an amazing job, and much to my surprise, Carrie Mills, my best friend from college, agreed to come teach gymnastics for me. She had also picked up the two and three-year-old classes since I wasn’t able to teach just yet.
I heard a sound in the courtyard. Jonathon was out there with Hope. She was showing him a spin she had learned, and he was trying to duplicate it. They had stopped by to pick up her backpack for school she’d left the night before. I knew it should have made me smile, but all it did was tear another piece off my heart.
“Hey, didn’t you hear me knocking?”
I discreetly wiped my tears away and faced my sister, Amelia. Plastering on a fake smile, I hugged her.