‘Did they…?’ Rico’s eyes screwed closed and his fist balled again, only this time not in anger.
‘Apparently they didn’t suffer.’ She repeated the nurse’s words, hoping they might bring Rico the comfort that had eluded her, but the wry twist of his mouth told her the effect was about the same.
‘They left that part to us.’
Us.
Even in the depths of despair the word offered a shelter for her mind to run to and hide for a while from the onslaught of the day and she took welcome refuge. Rico’s hand tightened harder around hers; his grip warm and strong and it helped—helped her get through the next few seconds at least.
‘Sorry to interrupt.’ The nurse was back now, standing hesitantly at the door, a sympathetic smile on her young face and as Rico’s hand dropped hers like a hot stone, cruel reality invaded.
There is no us, Catherine reminded herself. There never has been.
She was in this alone.
‘I’m going off on my break in a few minutes. Would you like me to walk you back up to the children’s ward before I go? It’s a bit of a maze…’
‘That won’t be necessary, thank you.’ Rico stood up, the tenderness she had briefly witnessed flicking off like a light switch, as he asserted his authority in an instant. ‘I have already been to the children’s ward and seen Lily. I explained to the sister in charge that Miss Masters and I will be staying at a nearby hotel tonight and will be back first thing in the morning. Thank you,’ he said again crisply, effectively dismissing her, and as the door closed Catherine blinked at him a couple of times.
‘You’ve been to see Lily?’
‘Of course.’
Of course. The words played over in her mind. Of course he would have been to see her first. Marco and Janey were dead, there was nothing he could do there, why wouldn’t he rush to see his niece? It made perfect sense, but a chill of foreboding crept over her as she met his dark, brooding stare, saw his eyes narrow suspiciously as he watched her.
‘I don’t want to go to a hotel and leave her.’ Catherine stood up, relieved that her legs, although still trembling, seemed at least to be holding her now. ‘I don’t think she should be alone tonight. If she wakes up—’
‘The nurses will deal with her,’ Rico said crisply ‘And if there is a problem we are only two minutes away. That is why I have booked into a hotel rather than go home; we will be literally across the road.’
‘But I’d be next to her here,’ Catherine pointed out. ‘Just because you’re too grand to sleep on a roller bed it doesn’t mean that I am.’
‘I make no apology,’ Rico clipped. ‘I would like to shower, I would like a very large drink, and…’ Whatever else he wanted, Rico wasn’t sharing it. He stared haughtily back at her. ‘I’m sure the nurses will be able to cope with her.’
‘But she needs—’
‘What?’ Rico broke in, his word a pistol shot. ‘Needs what? You can’t miss what you don’t have, and I doubt that baby has ever seen her mother after six p.m. In the six months Lily’s been alive she’s already had to get to know five nannies, so I’m sure a nurse feeding her in the middle of the night isn’t going to send her into a frenzy. Your sister made quite sure Lily got used to strangers.’
Your sister. He had spat the words at her accusingly but Catherine refused to rise.
‘I want to be with her,’ Catherine stated calmly. ‘If you want to go to a hotel—fine. But I’m not leaving.’ Picking up her bag, she headed for the door, but the slow handclap resounding from Rico stilled her. Tossing her head, she turned to face him, her eyes questioning.
‘Bravo,’ he sneered. ‘If I didn’t know you better you’d almost pass for a grief-stricken aunty.’
‘I just want to do the right thing by Lily,’ Catherine responded, utterly bemused, with no idea where this was leading.
‘Of course you do!’ She heard the sarcasm dripping in his voice, but it merely confused her. ‘Possession is nine-tenths of the law and all that.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Whatever Rico’s problem was she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to do this now. She was exhausted, physically and mentally exhausted, and even though she’d only been promised a roller bed by Lily’s cot the thought of stretching out, of closing her eyes on this vile day, was the only thing keeping her standing. ‘I’ll speak to you in the morning.’
‘You’ll speak to me tonight.’ His voice stayed low but there was a menacing note that had the hairs rising on the back of her neck. ‘You’ll tell me everything that’s happened.’
‘I’ve already told you,’ Catherine responded hotly. ‘What the hell does it matter how it happened, Rico? They’re dead, and going over and over it doesn’t change anything.’
‘Oh, but it does.’ His eyes bored into hers. ‘The fact they’re dead changes everything. Why didn’t you tell me you’d spoken to social workers, Catherine? Why did you omit to mention that you’ve told them you are taking Lily home with you when she’s discharged? That you are applying for guardianship?’
Her mind was working nineteen to the dozen now, realisation dawning as his savage eyes met hers, as she registered just how low he thought she was prepared to stoop.
‘You’ve got it all wrong,’ she insisted. ‘It wasn’t like that. The hospital needed a name, a next of kin, someone to sign a consent form if Lily needed an operation.’