She shook her head, and I held my breath, unprepared for the tone and direction this conversation was taking.
“I did drugs. I drove drunk and high, which makes me so ashamed. I posed nude. I dated married men and got kicked out of clubs because I was an asshole. I did a lot of stuff that wasn’t really me, and in the end, none of it mattered. It was always the same. He doesn’t give a shit about me. He doesn’t even get mad. He asks me if I need money.” She turned to me then and snorted. “I haven’t taken a dime from him in nearly four years. I own my own home. Two, in fact. Thanks to social media and Instagram and Snapchat and all of it, I have my own little empire. I’m paid crazy money to endorse products, to appear at events. My makeup line makes millions and…” She laughed, but it wasn’t a happy laugh. It was jaded and bitter. “The crazy thing is, I didn’t have any input in its creation. I went along with my team, and I did it because I thought it would make me happy to have my name everywhere. I thought that finally my dad would take notice. I don’t give a crap about makeup other than how it can make me look so I feel like a fraud. I feel that I’m misrepresented, and I let it happen. And the entire world thinks I’m happy.”
“But you’re not,” I murmured as her head dropped.
Her eyes shimmered when she looked up, and her chin trembled. My gut clenched at the sight because, finally, this was real. This was what I’d been hoping for.
“The only time I’m happy is when I’m alone in this studio with a guitar and a blank canvas to create something no one will ever hear. Which is even more pathetic.”
I got up from the sofa and took exactly two steps until I reached her. She stared up at me, her pain and misery so raw and real, I felt it in my bones. I cupped her face, my hands cradling gently.
“It’s time, Echo.”
“For what?” She leaned into my touch, and it damn near brought me to my knees.
“To get real. To stop with the games.” I paused and gave her a moment. Then I leaned closer and whispered into her ear, “It’s time to stop worrying about everyone else. To stop wondering what your dad will think. To stop looking for his approval.” I let those words sink in. “It’s time to let your voice fly. When you’re ready, you know where to find me.”
I dropped a kiss on her mouth, kept it light, and then grabbed my guitar. I left her standing in the middle of the studio because I figured she needed time and space. Dawn was breaking as I headed back to the main house. I hoped I’d done the right thing by leaving her, and that, in the end, she’d find her way back to me.
Because one thing had become clear over the last few months: I wanted her. And I wasn’t thinking short-term.
19
Echo
I didn’t know how it could be
Take my hand stay close to me
I didn’t know how it would feel
Is this a dream or is this real?
* * *
How long can I dream this dream?
Are we forever or in between
How long can I hold you tight?
W
on’t let go, hold with all my might
* * *
I didn’t know your love is strong
Stay with me the whole night long
I didn’t know your heart is gold
Love me babe, until we’re old
* * *
How long can I dream this dream?