I pull out my cell phone and open up my music app to show him what I have. His expression is serious as he studies my selection. It isn’t as big as my original collection, but I chose not to keep any of my stuff when I went into foster care. I can’t help but stare at him while his eyes scan my music collection. His eyes flick up to meet mine, and I almost look away, but he doesn't seem to notice.
“You listen to punk, classic rock, and 80s music?” he asks, shocked. I give a shy smile and nod. My music choices have never made sense to anyone, I just like a good variety. His smile grows wide as he pulls out his phone and brings up his music to show me. It’s nearly identical to mine, though quite a bit more extensive. My grin only gets bigger at that.
After browsing through the books and our songs, we choose to do our own twist on “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran.
I’m hunched over studying the sheet music for the song we chose when I feel him gently pulling on a strand of my hair. I look up and meet those bright blue eyes of his.
“I forgot to tell you how badass your hair is,” he says with his playful half smile. I grin up at him and playfully shake my hair out and do a model pose. “Wait for me here, and we can leave together. I’m going to see if Mr. Hill is okay with our choice,” he says as he laughs at my pose. I look around and notice the others are gone already. Whoops. I’ve always struggled with tuning out the rest of the world when I focus. He raises an eyebrow when I don’t answer right away, so I nod and start packing up my bags.
He’s gone for a minute before I walk over to the piano. I stroke my hand across the keys, and I can practically picture my dad sitting there with me as he taught me to play his favorite songs. His music selection was just about as crazy as mine.
Finally feeling brave, I sit down without thinking about the enormity of it and just start to play the last song we worked on. I’m halfway through when my eyes close and I truly lose myself in the keys.
I’m so lost I don’t hear him come in, but I feel someone sit next to me. When I open my eyes, Cole has a concerned look on his face. He studies my face for a moment before he reaches up to wipe away a tear that made its way down my cheek. I take a deep, shaky breath and attempt a smile before I get up to leave.
We make it to the hall when he reaches over and squeezes my hand, though the contact just causes another tear to fall. I quickly wipe it away and squeeze back. He lets go when we reach my locker, and I take the moment to push my emotions back into the dark corner of my mind where they belong. If I give in to them, it's over; I know I don’t have the strength to face it all like that.
The familiar numbness washes over me once I shut that door. Numb I can work with; faking emotions is far easier than actually feeling the weight of real ones.
“You all right, Charlie girl?” Cole asks softly once I’ve finally regained my composure. I turn and flash him an apologetic smile and a nod. “Don’t be sorry. Are you studying at the library again tonight?” I nod and he grins. “Good. We’ll see you there then. Abby insists on coming this time,” he says as he walks away, leaving me in stunned silence. Who just watches someone like me break down, then makes plans?!
A real friend… that’s who.
Tuesday
Afternoon
Music Class
Cole
“I think that would be a very nice rendition,” Mr. Hill agrees with an approving nod. I’m pumped. It will definitely be an awesome collaboration to do, the piano and violin will complement each other perfectly. Thankfully, he put Charlie and I together for this one, too.
Mr. Hill walks off to make us copies, and I take them before heading back to the practice room. Stopping outside of the glass door, I notice Charlie at the piano. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I slowly open it. From the first day I got the piano was a big deal, and I don’t want her to stop. I love the trance she goes into when she plays. She seems so peaceful at times, which makes her look even more beautiful. She tries to hide it, but other times she’s haunted and broken. It pulls at my heart. She’s hardly weak, but I can’t help but want to protect her.
I get close enough to see her face, and my heart stops. I’ve never seen anyone appear so beautiful and broken at the same time. The pull to be by her side is like a siren’s song.
Unable to stop myself, I sit next to her and she turns toward me, finally opening her eyes. The look of pure sadness in her eyes tears at my heart.
What happened to this poor girl?
Not even hesitating, I slowly wipe a tear away, and she gives me a fake smile. She tries to rein in her emotions, like she refuses to let herself have a moment of vulnerability.
Seeing that, I decide right then that I will work hard to put real smiles on her face whenever I can. If anyone deserves to have someone in her corner, it’s Charlie.
I’ve seen Trent, Abby, and Adam watching her too. I would have to be completely oblivious not to notice the way they study her. Honestly, it somehow doesn’t bother me. Charlie isn’t your average girl and we aren’t your typical friends. She needs us all in our own ways, and I would never take that from her.
We go our separate ways and agree to meet up at the library, and I’m distracted as I make my way to Trent’s car for the ride home.
I’m glad Charlie found us. I doubt we can erase the horrors of her past, whatever they are, but we sure as hell can help her be happy. Even the transformation from our first meeting until now is insane. It’s odd to me that Abby brought this silent and beautiful girl into our group, and we all just took her in like she always belonged. I guess we recognized one of our own. We call ourselves misfits for a reason. None of us felt like we fit into the other groups, always preferring each other’s company. Adam couldn’t stand being around the other baseball guys, saying they always want to be jerks and it’s not his style. He’s a calm protector. I’m just not talkative enough to give anyone a chance, and Abby’s been burned before. So it’s been us keeping each other sane since we started first grade, and nothing has changed over the years.
Most parents don’t let their kids have co-ed sleepovers, but our parents know better. We’ve had sleepovers every other weekend since the summer after fifth grade. I guess we’re all responsible enough in our own ways that they trusted us, plus our families know us like their own kids. The fact that we never considered dating each other definitely helped. Though it doesn’t hurt that Abby prefers girls, and Alice definitely doesn’t have a thing for us, she’s too lost in her own world.
Now that Charlie is part of our group, I hope it doesn’t change. I definitely can’t deny my at
traction to her. She has a way of captivating me. She’s beautiful and confident but also seems like she has a story to tell. She’s a bit broken, but then again, all of us are.
The fact we have the same taste in music definitely helps too.