“You’re right,” I agree. “I’m lucky to have you.”
“Girl, same. We really need to set up a karaoke bar and relive some old times. I need some shots and karaoke in my life. We could sing our troubles away," he shimmies on the couch, successfully making me laugh and pissing Dormy off again.
“I don’t think Faerie is ready for us to wow them with our amazing skills.” We’re both laughing now and my chest no longer aches. “How do you do it Jacob? You just know how to make me feel better. I will always be thankful for it," he grins and bats his lashes at me.
“Tell me more about how fabulous I am," he laughs but rolls on his side and hugs me tight. “You save me, and I save you. It’s what we do.”
“Ugh, are you two being sappy in here?” Emrick asks in mock disgust. I laugh at his attempt at sarcasm, he’s getting so much better at it.
“Shut up and get in here, big guy," I order imperiously. “When did you come in, I didn’t even hear you?”
“Right around Jacob batting his eyelashes,” Emrick deadpans. When he moves in front of us, his smile softens. “Nice to see you smiling, Bella.” He leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips. It’s different from our usual, the tenderness in it making me swoon.
“What, no kiss for me?” Jacob asks in a fake hurt tone.
“You may regret that joke one day, what if they give you a kiss?” I scold him, laughing at the incredulous look on Emrick’s face. At least this time he realizes it’s a joke.
“I came to see if you were up and wanted to search for the stone. Mr. Control would never admit to it, but Gerwyn is antsy to get his bonding over with," he whispers, looking behind him in case Gerwyn is sneaking up on him.
“He doesn’t want to bond with me now? It’s alright if he changed his mind," I say in a small voice, trying my best to stop the hurt from seeping into my tone. It stings even worse after our morning together. Everything felt so perfect on that tower.
Jacob looks as shocked as I feel and I kind of want to vomit as nerves swirl around in my stomach. This is exactly what I feared from the beginning.
“What, no!” Emrick looks and sounds panicky at my broken expression. “Man I suck at words, this is why I don’t talk as much as the others," he groans in frustration.
“Well why is he antsy then?” Jacob demands, his voice harsh now on my behalf.
“Calm down, Jacob. I just meant he was excited and nervous to get it done. He wants it more than anything, but I think the idea of seeing the Spirits of Faerie face to face is freaking him out," Emrick explains. Relief floods me, but a small section of my doubt sticks around. I need Wyn to say he wants it before I’ll believe it or even go through with it. Emrick may have not meant it the way I took it, but it fed directly into what I’ve already been fearing. They mean so much to me at this point, that I’m not sure how to go on without them.
“Give me a minute to change into something I can get dirty in, then I’ll be out." I push Jacob off of me and stand up, needing a moment alone to get my composure back. It’s moments like these that really bring the doubts and fears that festered in that dark cell, back. I have a harder time shaking off self-doubt now than I ever have.
“You know you don’t need clothes to get down and dirty with your big knight over here," Jacob jokes, but I don’t give a reaction as I make a beeline for my room.
After changing and giving myself a minute to dwell, I head back to the common room to find all four of my men talking to each other. I don’t listen to their words, instead taking a moment to get a good look at them. It helps ground me, knowing they’re all with me through this. Even if they do change their minds on being my mate, at least I have their support.
In my heart I know they’ll help heal my broken spirit, it’s my head I still need to convince.
I take a deep breath to push my emotions away again, though for a much happier reason this time, before walking towards them. They all turn to me and smile as I walk over. Maddox leans down and kisses me, then Bowen, Gerwyn, and finally Emrick kisses me again.
“I’m glad you are awake and seem to be feeling well. I was worried when you didn’t even wake up as I carried you to bed," Maddox says with a soft smile.
“You were amazing in there, darling," Bo compliments with pride in his eyes.
“Ready for another adventure?” Gerwyn asks, excitement gleaming in his eyes. His look calms my frayed nerves and I feel my entire body relax.
“Wait… what’s wrong?” Maddox demands. The man doesn’t miss a thing. I try to brush him off, but he cuts me off with a glare.
“It’s my fault. I’m so sorry Bella," Emrick groans and the guys turn to stare at him, angry glares falling in place. He holds up his hands in defense. “I just asked if she wanted to search for the stone and said Gerwyn was anxious to find it. She thought I meant he was having second thoughts and looked like I crushed her soul and stole her puppy all at once.”
The others groan in frustration, clearly they aren’t strangers to Emrick’s lack of communication skills. I try to shrug it off, but they won’t have it. If it affected me, my knights refused to let it fester.
“It’s really okay, I just misinterpreted it. I have abandonment issues I didn’t realize until today," I try to joke, but no one smiles.
“Arabella,” Gerwyn starts, using my full name to get my attention. “I have never wanted anything more in my life than I want you. Forget the magic, forget the pull to be together, forget the pressure of it all. I want you for who you are, not what you are. The way you put everyone else first, the way you wear your emotions unabashedly, the way you use your mind and skills to make sure that we will have a fully functioning society, and the way you love us. I love you," he whispers fiercely, as he rests his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes. I blink back tears at his sweet words. Of course I knew they cared about me, but the way he sees me is eye opening.
He pulls me in for a passionate kiss before I can say anything and doesn’t pull away until I'm weak in the knees.
“I love her too!” Bowen shouts, hugging me from behind and making me giggle. Maddox rolls his eyes at Bowen’s antics, but is clearly satisfied that I’m smiling now.