I had a paper to finish for my class and work to do to prepare for my next seminar. I couldn't be sick again and miss class or they'd rebel, and my professor would be unhappy.
I'd push through my nausea and fatigue and get it done.
I had to.
Chapter Four
Luke
I drove up to the hospital with a sense of dread.
I was just a child when my parents died in the accident, and it had been a very confusing and upsetting time for me and Dana as we tried to understand why mommy and daddy weren't coming home to see us.
The Marshalls did their best to comfort us, showering us with gifts as distractions from our grief, but they really couldn't replace our parents. We just got on with life, as kids will do. The gaping hole i
n both our hearts where our parents once were remained. Scar tissue formed over it, of course, but the scar never really went away.
John was an adult and had his mother with him all his life. She was a constant in his world and had been there through all his trials and tribulations growing up and as a young man. While he was prepared for her to relapse and perhaps die from the cancer they discovered a year earlier, he thought he would have more time with her before that happened.
Her sudden decline and now imminent death was shocking, even to someone who was trying hard to mentally and psychologically prepare himself for it.
When I arrived, she was lying on her side, being fed oxygen through a nasal cannula, monitors gone, her eyes half open and staring off into some distance. Sitting on a chair beside John was Felicia.
She blushed intensely when she saw me, and I felt a bit awkward with us all being in the same room at a time like this, but if she was providing comfort to John, I had to man up and just accept it and brush aside any lingering feelings of guilt over how my family and her family tried to match us -- unsuccessfully on my part.
"There you are," John said and stood up, letting go of his mother's hand. He came to me and we embraced. I held him a little longer than might be otherwise appropriate, knowing that he was on the edge, but I figured he needed it.
He did.
He broke down and cried, rubbing his eyes with one hand, the other holding onto me tightly.
He was my best male friend in the entire world, and if he wanted to cry on my shoulder, so be it. I'd encourage him to do so. One day, maybe he'd reciprocate if I needed a shoulder.
When he finally got control over his emotions, he let go of me and smiled through his tears.
"I'm glad you're here," he said and led me over to the side of the bed where his mother lay semi-conscious.
"I'll go," Felicia said. "There's only two people allowed in the room at one time, so I'll leave you two together."
Felicia went to John and they embraced, then kissed and he stared into her eyes. "Thank you for being with me."
"Of course," she said and smiled. "Call me when you want me to come back. I'm free all day."
"I will."
They kissed again and Felicia picked up her things and bent down to kiss Mrs. Andrews on the cheek before leaving.
John and I watched her leave and then John sat back down beside his mother's bed.
"I'm glad Felicia is here with you," I said.
John nodded. "Thank God for her," he replied. "She's been a rock for me."
"What have the doctors said to you?" I asked, at a loss at what else to say.
John shrugged and pointed to a chair for me to sit on.
"She's not really conscious, despite her eyes being partly open," he said. "The doctors gave her some really strong pain medication that will keep her sedated. It's really just a matter of time before her organs fail and she dies, but she won't be conscious of anything around her or be in any pain."