“He’s going after the Inferno meth labs?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Good.” She smiles.
“Good?” I shake my head. “This isn’t fucking good.”
I don’t like it, but I know if Lily wasn’t involved and it was someone else, I would think it was a good idea. Except it does involve Lily, and I’m worried that somehow, she’s going to get hurt.
She’s not Christy.
I’d be a liar if I said this situation hasn’t brought my old fears to the surface. That losing Lily like I lost Christy would devastate me.
No, it would destroy me.
Even though I hate to admit it, I’m letting fear cloud my judgment. I know decimating the Inferno’s meth empire will destroy them, and destroying the Inferno is good for our club, not to mention everyone else. Removing that poisonous shit off the street will help a lot of people and their families. Still, the fact that Lily is involved fills me with enough unease to push back against it.
“I know you think I could get hurt, but I won’t.”
Something in my expression tells her it's about more than that.
“This isn’t about me getting hurt, is it?” Her face tightens. “Oh God, you still don’t trust me.”
“I trust you.”
“No, you don’t. Your face is an open book. What is it? Do you think I’m going to lead the Kings into some kind of ambush?”
“What? No!”
“Then what?”
“I know you’re not telling me something… you’re holding back, and I don’t know what to do about it. Hell, I don’t even know what to think about it.”
She looks away, and I know I’m right.
“Why can’t you just trust me?”
“Because you’re making it hard.”
Her eyes widen. “Then why am I here, huh? If you don’t trust me, why do you care so much?” Anger and hurt move through her expression. “Why do you want me to stay?”
The question hurts me like my questions hurt her. If she can’t see just how much she means to me—fuck, is she blind?
I’m fucking in love with her.
I want to tell her. It’s on the tip of my tongue.
But tension snaps between us.
Then she kisses me, rough and hard, and I know what she’s doing. She’s trying to distract me by using what she knows I like against me, and it makes me angry. I try to resist, but she won’t have it, and when she kisses me again and tenderly trails her tongue up to the soft spot behind my ear, I give in to my own selfish needs and kiss her back, just as hard and demanding, taking control as I push her against the wall.
We’ve never been like this before. Angry fucking. The tension is like a freight train, powerful and unstoppable, and I don’t fight it. Instead, I battle with her just like she’s battling with me.
She tugs at my buckle. “I want you inside me,” she breathes, urgently pulling my belt through the loops of my jeans and flinging it to the floor.
With a growl, I lift her into my arms and kiss her wildly as I walk her over to the bed and set her down. She lifts the T-shirt over her head and lets it slip to the floor, revealing her beautiful naked body and full, creamy breasts. Her dusty pink nipples tighten and pucker under my gaze, and I can’t stop myself. I devour them greedily, forcing a cry from her kiss-swollen lips.
Releasing her, I tear off my clothes, while she sinks into the pillows and looks up at me through heavy-lidded eyes. But as I walk toward her on my knees, ready to gorge myself on her delectable body, I stop and have to catch my breath. She looks aroused and wanton, and the way she looks up at me tells me she wants this, but as I move closer, I can also see the vulnerability and fear barely concealed by the heat on her face.
It’s not me she’s trying to distract.
She’s trying to distract herself.
Something shifts in me.
Whatever she’s keeping from me terrifies her.
I need her to know she can trust me.
Lily leans back into the pillows and looks up at me through dark lashes, her hooded eyes glazed over. When she bites down on her lower lip, I blanket her with my body, and she stretches out beneath me, her beautiful body smooth and inviting as she opens up to me.
Our eyes meet.
Slowly, I slide into her, and a soft sigh escapes her lips.
“Fuck me,” she whispers in my ear. “Fuck me hard.”
Shifting restlessly beneath me, she’s suddenly frantic in her search for physical pleasure. She’s all arms and legs and hip bucks as she races toward that moment where nothing but physical pleasure exists.
But I have no intention of fucking her hard. I’m going to slow things down and take my time to show her what she means to me.