Just like Maeve taught me.
I spent the afternoon in the apartment. I made pasta and ate it plain with salt. I looked out the window, half expecting to find Kaspar standing in the street.
I was alone. Utterly alone.
Around five, I left and headed back to campus. The bag felt too heavy on my shoulder. My mission was a weight around my neck.
Penny, poor, sweet Penny.
She didn’t deserve this. I didn’t either.
I was still going to do it.
Her last class got out at six fifteen. I went to our room, careful to make sure that Kaspar wasn’t watching. I didn’t spot him, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I had to hope that psycho couldn’t be everywhere all the time.
I set up my things and lounged on the bed like I’d been asleep for half the day.
Penny came bustling into a little while later. She threw her backpack on her bed and looked surprised to see me as I sat up on one elbow. My eyes were bloodshot and tired and I grinned.
“You look like crap,” Penny said. “Where’ve you been? You didn’t come home last night. You didn’t answer your phone. I was worried.”
“Sorry. I pulled an all-nighter at the library then right to my test. I crashed after and my phone’s dead.”
“Ah, that sucks.” She sat down at her desk and stretched. “How’d it go? Studying helped?”
“I hope so. Otherwise, all this was a waste.” I grinned at her. “How was your date?”
Her eyes went fuzzy. I could still smell sex in the room.
“It was good. I think I like him.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. I’m not sure how I feel about it though.” She hesitated, smiling to herself. “I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t know how I should handle it.”
“You never liked a guy?”
“Honestly? Not really. I’ve had crushes and a couple dumb boyfriends in high school, but nothing serious. Nothing like whatever this is with Kaspar.”
“It’s a good thing though, right? You should be happy.”
“I’m not sure how I feel. Things in my life are complicated and Kaspar would only make it worse.”
“Like what?” My pulse quickened. This was the closest she’d ever gotten to mentioning her Oligarch family before. I could only imagine the hesitation she felt.
If she wanted to spill it all, she didn’t let herself. Instead, she stood, patted her thighs, and wiped her hands together like she was brushing something away.
“Forget it. Want to get some food in a minute?”
“Yeah, sure, that’d be good. I just need to shower.”
She headed into the bathroom. “Shower fast!” she called out as she closed the door.
I jumped to my feet and ran across the room. I had a small packet of white powder in my pocket. I took it out, ripped it open, and unscrewed Penny’s Nalgene water bottle. I dumped the packet, replaced the lid, and shook it hard. I shook until I heard the toilet flush, then put it back and collapsed back into bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Penny came out and sat by my feet. “You look tired. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but you do.”
“Thanks, ya jerk.”
“I just worry you’re pushing yourself too hard. You study a lot, you know.”
I ground my teeth together. I wanted to say, not everyone in this college comes from a rich and powerful family, some of us had to earn our positions here—but that wasn’t true.
Maeve was the reason I’d been admitted. My rich and powerful family pulled strings to give me this opportunity, even if that was only for her personal benefit.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about me.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“And plus, now that you have the new boyfriend, you’re the one too distracted to keep your grades up.”
“Please, I’m a natural genius.” She stood and walked to her desk. My heart stuttered as she picked up her water bottle. Don’t do it, I wanted to scream. Don’t drink it. But it was part of the plan.
I had to follow through.
She took several long gulps.
I sighed and sat up. Not long now. “It’s true, you’re beautiful and smart.”
“Why, thank you.” She flipped her hair. “It comes so easily to me.”
“I’m sure it does. I mean it though. You are beautiful and I think you’re the funniest person I’ve ever met.”
She grinned, waving me off. She still thought I was joking. “All right, enough. You keep talking like that and I’ll start believing you.”
“I wish you would. I loved being with you. Coming here and living in this dorm’s been the best few months of my life.”
She softened a bit and tilted her head. “What’s the matter? You’re talking like you’re dying.”
“I’m not dying. I just want you to hear it. I’m really sorry about all this.”
She touched her head suddenly, frowning. She began blinking rapidly. “Oh, that’s weird. I feel kind of dizzy. What were you saying? Are you still complimenting me?”