“I know.” I close my eyes and suck in a breath. His hand cups my jaw, and I lean into his touch as tears battle their way to the surface.
“We’ll get through this somehow. I can tell you care about me.”
“I love you, Killian. I love you so damn much it hurts. I feel like I’m going crazy, because you’re here with me but you’re not. I want to be with you. I want to fall into your arms, and you promise that you’ll never let me go, but that’s not going to happen.” Everything I have been holding back comes rushing out and sweeping over us like a tidal wave.
“I’m sorry.” He drops his hand, and the emptiness I feel from the loss of his touch is almost unbearable. I try to blink away my tears and squash down my pain.
“Don’t apologize.” I wipe at my tears feeling like I am going to crumble into a million pieces.
“C’mere.” He places the pop bottle on the counter and opens his arms. I step into his embrace and cling to his body, inhaling his scent, rubbing my nose along his collarbone. I want to fade into him. I needed this…his touch more than he knows.
Killian is my gravity.
“Killian,” I cry out his name when his fingers touch the sliver of skin on my lower back between my jeans and my t-shirt.
“Shh…” his breath blows in my ear. “It’s okay.”
I sniffle and pull back though it kills me to do so. “I’m sorry. I’m the one who is supposed to be taking care of you.”
“Don’t stress. We’re in this together, right? You are my girlfriend.”
“That I am.” My body screams for me to press my mouth to his, but I hold back.
As though he can read my mind Killian smirks at me.
“We’ll get there.”
Will we?
My cheeks redden, and I move past him to grab my plate.
“We usually sit on the couch and watch TV when we eat.”
He nods then goes to the couch, and I lean against the counter and sigh. He’s still flirty.
I can work with that. I just want him back.
I don’t have much of an appetite, but I force myself to go through the motions. He sits in the middle of the couch, and I go to the recliner because I need the space, and I think he does too.
The food tastes bland to me as I chew, and I have to make myself to eat it.
After we eat quietly, I leave him alone with his thoughts and clean up my mess in the kitchen. He’s watching some show where they fix up old cars. Out of habit I keep glancing at him wondering what he’s thinking while waiting for him to say something.
He joins me in the kitchen. “I can help with that.”
“Okay.” I hand him a dish towel. His hip rubs against my elbow, and I can hardly breathe.
He smiles down at me and licks his lips. I wonder if one kiss could break the spell. Could one kiss bring him back?
“Is it weird for you? Being here? I guess inside your head you should be ending your high school career and not be here with some girl you don’t remember.”
“It’s awkward. I won’t lie, but you seem chill.”
“Chill?” I laugh.
“Yeah. I appreciate you not jumping on me and trying to force things.”