“You okay?”
“You want the honest answer or the universal fine?”
“Right. I brought a cage so no worries about riding on my bike.” Out in the parking lot Nickel helps me into the cab of his truck. “You want to get food or anything?”
I shake my head. “I can’t think about food right now. How are you so calm?”
“I figure it like this. Death is a natural part of life, but my being upset right now won’t help or change anything. What I can do is what my Prez asked of me and that was to make sure you were good and have what you need. I compartmentalize shit.”
“Can I see him?”
“Got orders to take you to your apartment and stay as long as you need me to. I’m sure you can understand that Ruthie is losing her shit and your man ain’t in the headspace for anything or anyone right now. That includes you.”
I nod. It’s probably for the best I don’t see him or Ruthie for that matter right now. Because once I do, he will hate me forever.
Chapter Twenty-one
“This is nice, isn’t it? Just the two of us like old times.” Ruthie smiles over the brim of her wine glass before taking a hearty sip.
“I don’t know what fucked up fantasy you’ve been living in, but this has never been us. If this were like old times, we’d be having takeout pizza and sitting on crates while Rochelle played with her blocks.”
“Don’t be a sourpuss. We’ve come so far. Our little girl is growing up. You’re the Prez now. Everyone looking up to you. I’m the envy of all the other Old Ladies. They’re all jealous of us you know. We finally have it all. Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it.”
“Maybe if I wasn’t spending all my time cleaning up all the shit deals your father made. And the chaos he left in his wake. The shit he did to not only Alexa but other members of the club. Was fucking their wives in front of everyone to humiliate them. Had a brother bring his Old Lady to me and promised if she disappointed me, I could have his sister and daughter too.”
“He what?”
“You heard me. So no its not all fun.”
“Did you fuck her?”
“What are you gonna do if I did?”
She stabs her fork into her steak, cutting the meat quickly.
“Cat got your tongue?”
“I don’t want to fight. Have you given anymore thought to a son now?”
“You think I want another kid? Think I want to bring a son into this fucked up club and hope he fills my boots one day?”
“It’s what you’re supposed to do. You have a status to uphold.”
“Don’t tell me what I’m supposed to do. Coming here with you tonight was a fucking joke. Just like our marriage.”
“Now you’re only trying to hurt my feelings.”
“Didn’t think you had any left.” I top off my beer and wish I could smoke a damn joint right about now. My thoughts are miles away with Alexa. She’s pregnant and has no business going to a damn party. What am I gonna do...ground her? Tell her she can’t have friends? The look on her face at the house earlier about damn near killed me. Would serve me right if she found someone else. Sometimes I wish she’d quit me. But I know if she did, I’d just drag her back into my world.
My cell phone goes off. It’s the clubhouse. “Gotta take this,” I inform Ruthie when her cell starts buzzing too. I’m happy for the interruption. “Talk to me.”
“Cops are here looking for you. They won’t say why,” Grudge tells me.
“I’ll be there in ten.”
Ruthie gives me a funny look.
“What?” I snap.