I throw my hands up and the movement forces the towel around my waist to drop. “Fuck you. You don’t know shit. Things are different now. The guys in the club aren’t even the same bastards who rode with Derrick. I’m sick of you running your Goddamn cocksucker all the time. It never fucking ends with you.” I shake my cock at her. “Maybe if you’d suck my dick once in a while I’d be a little nicer.”
“Don’t talk to me like that!” Her hand flies toward my face landing with a brutal sting.
I rub my jaw and smack her back. “You want it rough, Stephanie. I’ll give you rough.” I grab hold of her as she rubs a palm to her cheek.
“God, I hate you,” she spits at me trying to break free.
“Not as much as I hate you.” I shove her down on the bed. My tattooed hand goes around her throat and I squeeze until she goes red in the face then I let go. Her nails bite into my arm leaving crescent shaped indentations. Our eyes lock and her chest heaves. “You’re nothing but a spiteful, manipulative bitch.” I’ve fucking had it with her. I thought maybe if we had a kid she would settle into the life I have built for us. Neither of us ever wanted this but this is where we are now. A baby would give her something to do.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes out her fake apology, rubbing her tender neck.
My lips screw into a half smile. “No, you aren’t.” I stroke a finger along her cheek and over her lips as they part. Her hand comes up to mine and she pushes my fingers in her mouth. Sucking each one leisurely she teases me.
“It’s so hot when you get all worked up like that, lover.” She smiles as I work my hand under her shirt to palm her breast.
“That so…,” I whisper, rubbing a thumb over her pebbled skin.
Pushing up to recline on her elbows her mouth meets mine. There is nothing but lust between us. No love but yet I can’t stay away. I keep coming back for more, taking whatever she will give me. It has always been the two of us. Me and Stephanie against the world. She knows all my dirty secrets and I know hers. Grabbing hold of her shorts she slept in last night I drag them down her hips and thighs, exposing her bare pussy. My fingers move through her slick heat. I knew she’d be wet and ready after out little exchange. Nothing like a little violence and foreplay to get the bitch hot and bothered. Any threat of my leaving her ass and she complies.
“Let’s make a baby,” I tell her as I kiss her stomach.
“We’ve talked about this. I think we need to see a specialist.”
“Give me a baby and I’ll put our plan in motion,” I lie just as I have been for years. The truth is, I stayed with the club because I wanted to bring them down. I wanted to make them pay for getting my brother killed but the longer I stayed in earning their trust the more I became like them. The more I reveled in the lifestyle. The brotherhood—now I have a good thing going and I find even though I still miss Derrick, Hades and the guys aren’t to blame. My brother made his choice when he earned his cut. He knew what he signed on for.
The price for Derrick’s death has been paid. I made a bargain with the Devil and paid my dues, but he wants more. Always taking. Always demanding. I block that shit out though, getting lost in the warm body the woman I married provides.
Chapter 5
—Stephanie
Justin pushes inside me, and I wrap my legs around him, crossing my ankles. I know the minute I give him a baby he will use it as another excuse not to do what he promised and end the Devils Rejects MC. He’ll say it’s too dangerous for the kid. I’m not stupid. I may be a lot of things but I’m not dumb. I know he likes the life. The club life. The Brotherhood and their loyalty.
He forgets that this wasn’t always about Derrick. It’s about my father too. I think he forgets I lost him too. He suffered a brain aneurysm the day after Derrick passed away. I know it was due to that fucker, Brute, but I made sure he got his. We both did. I pretended to seduce the bastard and lured him away during a party. Only when we got to the bedroom, Justin was waiting for him and as I was dry humping the man, my guy came out from his hiding space in the closet and choked him to death. I stared into his eyes as he gasped for a breath and I enjoyed whispering into his ear that it was for Derrick.
I got a taste for revenge and I liked it.
So did Justin.
Raking my nails down his back, I urge him, “Harder.” He moves to give me what I want, just how I like it. There was a time when I loved Justin and part of me still cares for him, but I don’t want this life, and I damn sure don’t want to bring a kid into the mix of our fucked-up relationship. It’s getting harder and harder to pretend. I’m the bitch wife who treats everyone like shit. I’m the bad guy so that no one suspects that my husband came to this club to see it in ruins. We thought it was over when Tiny Leone took out Marek, but he fucked us over and named Hades as the new Prez in a deal behind our backs with the Black Rebel Riders’ MC. These supposed brothers that Justin claims to care so much about wouldn’t hesitate to kills us both if they knew that he’s the one who leaked information to Tiny.
We traded one evil for another.
“Fuck if you don’t drive me crazy fucking mad but your pussy is damn good.” He groans as our bodies move together. My heart is beating like a hollow drum between us. He knows what I crave, and I know how to play him to get what I want except for a way out of this tangled web we’ve weaved.
“Do you love me?” I smirk.
“Yeah, baby, I fucking love you. Want nothing more than to give you a baby. A piece of my family living on. You know the family line dies with me and what it’d mean to me if you gave me a son.”
I close my eyes and swallow his lies, biting back my tears. A son would only serve as another man I love who would someday sign up to ride or die and death would be his only future. Despite what my husband thinks of me, I’m not as cold and unfeeling as he likes to make me out to be. I found out I was pregnant twelve years ago. I sat by myself in a clinic terrified out of my mind. My boyfriend and my father both had just died. Justin had just accepted his brother’s place in the club, taking his chance with fate. I made a decision. One I have carried with me all on my own. I was alone and didn’t leave my room for a month.
Justin was off becoming a man. He had no idea that I was pregnant or that I terminated my pregnancy. That I possibly took away the last piece of Derrick either of us would ever have. My Mom didn’t know how to help me. She had her own grief to deal with. I lashed out and I did things I wasn’t proud of. I was doing drugs and drinking to numb the pain. Then I went looking for trouble at Justin’s door. We thought we could save each other. We thought we could honor Derrick’s memory by bringing down those who had wronged him. We were just kids making grown up plans. Playing with fire and tempting fate. I’m tired of fucking burning in this purgatory of our own creation.
“We can’t keep doing this.” I push him off me suddenly feeling smothered.
“Well fuck you too.” He rolls to his back, cock still saluting me. “What’s wrong now?”
“Aren’t you tired of the fighting?”