Still, I don’t feel like I can make this kind of decision without Will’s input. As twins, we have a certain bond. Certain things I just expect we will do together. A certain way of living.
In other words, I don’t think I can go there without him. I could. I don’t want to.
And as soon as I think about that, Libby comes right back to the front of my mind. That was another lifelong fantasy. Though Will and I have had girlfriends separately, something was always missing. It didn’t match up right. It didn’t feel like it was supposed to feel. This is what feels right.
This felt so amazingly right.
The look in Libby’s eyes when she begged me to fuck her… Oh my God. I won’t be able to think about that while I’m running or I’m likely to terrify people in cars with my hard-on.
But then again, how can I stop thinking about it now? Now that I’ve seen it, I want to see it again. The naked desire. Totally without artifice. Absolute and sincere. No sense of anything being hidden away. She just opened her legs and let us fuck the living daylights out of her until she squealed and came in buckets all over my cock.
Seriously. I cannot think too hard about this.
Okay. I’m not going to think the word “hard” again.
Running! I need to think about running. Breathe in for three steps. Breathe out for three steps. That’s better. Look at the trees. Look at the…
Oh. Sweeney’s.
I let my pace slow to a stop at the raggedy line of trees at one end of the parking lot. There are no cars here right now. The rest of the strip mall is vacant anyway. Only Sweeney’s is here, with its dilapidated shingle façade and hand-painted sign. Actually, it’s missing the apostrophe. I didn’t even notice that.
Also it says steaks, seafood, cocktails. An old-fashioned side. I wonder how long this business has been here?
Since there is no one around, I jog to the back door and scope the place out. There don’t seem to be any cameras. It wouldn’t be too difficult to find a way in, probably.
The question is, what would I do if I got inside? Steal some frozen fried pickles?
No. If anything else is going to happen here, it’s going to have to be when everyone is around. It doesn’t have to be violent or anything. But Libby does need her ID back.
And if Ty gets taught a lesson in pursuit of that object, how am I going to stop that situation? Seems like that would be up to Ty.
All of a sudden, rage blooms in my mind like drops of blood in water. Exploding outward, filling the space. A stain.
That fucker thought he had complete control of the situation. He thought he could do anything. He thought she would just obey whatever outrageous demand or threat he made.
You know, teaching him a lesson is probably a good idea.
A small voice in the back my head tells me that any lesson I taught anybody would probably interfere with my New York prospects, but I swiftly tell that voice to shut up. After all, I haven’t entirely decided to go, right? Plans can always change.
But it probably isn’t safe to be here. Resuming my run, I circle toward the county road that cuts back toward the townhouse. Nothing to see here. I even pass some privates who are also running. See? Totally normal.
Running does help to quiet my mind. It helps me to organize my thoughts. At least, it helps me to prioritize. What is important, after all? God, country, family. That’s all I need.
Chapter 17
Libby
Everything feels different now. I feel so alive. Confident. Serene. Filled to the brim.
Cass and Will even look different now to me. Now I see the potential there. The first moment I saw them, I felt something, but I didn’t know for sure. Now I know. Now I know why being around them felt like falling forward into space. It’s so natural, I can’t believe I never felt it before.
Maybe I was waiting for them. Maybe every body you see is not a body for you. Maybe there are only certain ones out there, like keys fitting into locks.
We fit together exactly. It feels like we were meant for each other.
I sit on the sofa, flipping through a coffee-table sized picture book of Japan after World War II. The architecture and landscapes are beautiful, but I can barely concentrate. Instead I find ways to watch Will as he walks around the house. Just observing, just appreciating.
I wonder what he does for the Army, though I know it is completely inappropriate to ask. Sometimes people will tell you, but otherwise you just don’t bother to ask the question. Special ops? Could be. He is definitely smart enough. I get the feeling that he has some education by the books on the bookshelf. Or maybe that is Cass? No… My guess is these books belong to Will.