Once I got the movie going in my head, everything else came together. Yolanda and Terry pulled me off the floor to the ladies’ room, giggling and rolling their eyes.
“Okay. Let’s see those undies,” Yolanda commanded me, pointing at my ripped jeans and T-shirt halter. “Mona said we’re supposed to get you to do the show, right? So let’s see what you’re working with.”
“Yeah,” Terry giggled as she wiggled out of her striped dress, leaving only a sparkling catsuit underneath. “She said you are going to be great. We are definitely supposed to tell you that.”
I admit, I was pissed at first. I felt like this whole set up had been a trick. She probably knew about Carson and had the whole thing arranged in advance. I felt like this was the kind of bait and switch my dad would find a million “I told you so’s” to tell me for the rest of my life.
If he ever found out. Which absolutely could not happen.
But then I remembered Mona’s last lines… This is a fantasy, right? Even if she tricked me into it, the whole situation was like a movie. Practically a dream come true. And every situation is based on the attitude you bring to it. That’s another thing my dad tells me. Attitude makes a difference.
So I got down to my underwear and held my arms
out for inspection, pleased that Yolanda clucked her tongue in approval right before she pushed me out the door.
“Just watch what we do,” she muttered as we reentered the dark bar through a cloud of artificial fog. “Don’t crowd me. Find your own table, but just look for some friendly faces and then strut your stuff until they give you money. Then move on. That’s all you gotta do.”
It took a second. There was a hard fist of terror where my heart was supposed to be. I just stood there like a deer in headlights.
Then I remembered the movie.
Not the best video I ever watched… Kind of confusing, really. Definitely an amateur attempt. But the girl was like me: college age, blonde, nervously exposed around a bunch of strangers. It was a swim meet. Some kind of intramural competition. She was an alternate, found herself surrounded by the opposing team. As in all those movies, she took that nervous first step and then let nature take over. Nature always takes over, I guess.
Yolanda and Terry moved out into the crowd, quickly becoming half invisible in the low light, though I could tell they were doing just as they said: looking for friendly faces. Trying to find someone to say hello, maybe give them a couple bucks, then move on.
Just do it, I told myself. Attitude. Get some.
Though my heart was pounding, I forced myself to stop, close my eyes, and listen to the music. Listen to anything, let it happen. Open my mind and find a way for nature to work its way through me.
Okay, I talked myself into it. Now I think I’m ready. I open my eyes and look around the room with a new attitude.
Yes, I am in my bra and panties. Yes, you may look at me. Yes, I am fabulous.
My name is Tammy.
Sweeping the room like a searchlight, I can see a path through the darkness. A few of these guys are definitely looking at me with interest, but then I see one in particular. One face, one steady and piercing gaze.
Oh no, make that two.
Just ahead, I sense something so perfect it is like I invented it. Two men staring at me who are so alike, they must be brothers. They might be twins. And yet, I feel something between us so strong it is like a tractor beam. The rest of the room disappears, and there is just a tunnel between us.
Slowly I walk forward, measuring my success by the way their expressions change. Their eyes cover me in a shameless pattern of inspection. My belly. My breasts. My thighs. With each step, I feel it stronger.
Nature takes over. Like a typhoon, like a tidal wave, I am swept along. I barely need to think in words. Everything is sensation and urge, a primal collection of directions that exist without language. I feel taller, stronger, curvier than before.
I can feel the attraction between us, especially in the way they take in every move I make. Their animalistic stares seem practiced, but not predatory. Aware, intelligent, and profoundly real, they both gaze at me with a naked intensity that thrills me to my core.
As I reach the first one, I dare to reach out and drag my fingers across his arm, then over his broad, thick shoulders. He skin reacts to me, with all the little hairs standing on end at my lightest touch. Electricity sizzles between us, sending bolts of energy up my arm.
His brother is just the same, responding under my touch, frozen to his spot though I am very small, and he is enormous. It’s amazing. I have both of them, 100 percent of their attention, all of it for me. There has to be four hundred pounds of throbbing male flesh in front of me, and all I need to do is drag my pinky finger across it to get it to respond.
The first one speaks to me, something like hello. He has a low, grumbly voice that seems to erupt from somewhere deep within his chest. It takes my breath away, and I almost can’t believe that I have to find words to communicate. We don’t need that. We don’t have to do that. This is something better. Something profound. Something ancient.
It’s happening, really happening, but then…
Ty.
Dammit.