Pressure built behind Lauren’s eyes as she kept her gaze fixed across the room, not wanting Paolo to see that for her, it wasn’t strictly physical. There was an emotional component of attraction and admiration and desire to be noticed and valued. She wanted him to feel something for her besides unwanted sexual attraction.
She swallowed.
“Is it—?” She cleared the throb from her voice. “If you’re just reacting because it’s been a while—”
“It has been a while,” he stated flatly. “Since our night in Charleston, if you want the truth, and that’s damned near a record for me.”
A stinging blush hit her cheeks. “Another one of your charming Italian compliments? Try being married to a man in the military. There were nights I wished I was capable of an affair.”
A dangerous light came into his black-coffee eyes. He approached her and she retreated a step, halting when his eyes narrowed.
“No, don’t run, tesoro. We know where that leads.” His smile was wicked, almost cruel.
Lauren held her ground, lifting her chin even though it exposed the sensitive place in her throat where her pulse began pounding so hard it threatened to burst her skin. Clutching the edge of the island behind her, she stood very still as his hand came up to cradle her jaw.
“No, it’s not just abstinence making me feel this way,” he stated gruffly. “This is not a fleeting thing. It needs a long-term arrangement. Physical desire would not be the worst basis for a marriage, you must admit that.”
Her jaw hardened as he spoke, growing more rocklike by the second as she saw how he was leading her down the path he wanted her to go. He stroked her skin with lightly splayed fingers, persuading her to soften, and much of her wanted to. The desire to give in was a whisper away.
But she was acutely aware he’d said nothing about feelings, nothing about creating a family with the baby they’d made. He wanted a bedmate. That was all.
“You understand now why I was less than honest with you,” he cajoled gently. “You can believe me when I tell you I will be entirely monogamous. Why would I stray when the best is at home?”
She jerked away from his hold, lowering her eyes to hide how badly she wanted to believe him. All of her longed for a husband who gave her children and came home to her and their family every day. Maybe she was trying to rewrite her childhood when she’d been surrounded by “real” families while she was the odd duck whose father had died and whose step-siblings resented her. But the yearning in her to have a nuclear family was intense and real.
Without love, however, there would be no glue. If sex was all that brought a man home, it could lead him afield just as easily. And if there was even a seed of suspicion between them...
“Whether I trust you is only half the equation, isn’t it? You don’t trust me.”
Silence. His hand lowered and balled into a fist of frustration.
“If I am the father, Lauren, you would not refuse to marry me,” he finally said.#p#????#e#
“So marrying you would prove to you that you are? That’s what you’re saying?” She flung back her head.
She could see by his expression it wouldn’t be that easy, only that refusing to marry him would, in his eyes, prove once and for all that he wasn’t the father.
She jerked conflicted eyes to the blurred panes of glass on the cupboards, brow knotting in pain. “You’re not being fair,” she murmured, hurt that he refused to take her word.
He lightly caressed her cheek with his knuckle. “Lauren.”
She leaned away from his touch. “Don’t. Getting your way like that will make me hate you.”
Paolo tensed, feeling as though heavy chains were settling and binding around him. Lauren had been beyond his grasp for too long for him to accept distance now.
“Don’t be stubborn,” he growled, frustrated that she refused to see what a chance he was taking in offering marriage without a guarantee about the baby’s paternity.
“You’re the one being stubborn,” she accused, crackling with the passionate energy that lit such a fire in him.
“I have to take a long view,” he reminded.
“Well, I’m not about to rush headlong into marriage without considering all the ramifications, either. I married the first time because I thought it was my only option. My mother had brainwashed me into thinking I needed a man in my life. I don’t. When the baby is born, you can take blood tests. Let me know then if you want to be involved, and we’ll discuss marriage.”
“And you’ll vilify my reputation in the meantime. Very nice,” he bit out.