Two years later – Eighteen
I sat staring at Miles. Speechless. The man had a way of doing that to me. Always had. A part of me knew I would always love Miles more than he loved me—and in more than a best friend kind of way—and I was okay with that. As long as we had each other, I could face anything in life. He was, after all, the person who got me through the worst time of my life after my sister June got cancer and lost her battle. She was only nineteen, and I was seventeen.
And I was there for him when his father up and left their family to be with a woman he’d been having an affair with for years. Their family had been devastated; Miles had been angry and so hurt. But I was there when he would call in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. I’d crawl out my bedroom window and meet him at the pond on my folks’ ranch and we’d fish until the sun came up. Then I’d climb back into my bedroom just in time to get dressed for school. We knew we could count on one another. It had always been our unspoken promise. No matter what, we had each other’s backs.
Miles meant the world to me. I told him everything; he told me everything. Well, I wanted to believe he told me everything. I wasn’t so sure anymore. Not after the bomb he’d dropped on me after graduation. I didn’t feel like I knew anything anymore.
I sat in the old Ford F-250 Miles’s father had left behind, trying to think of something to say and coming up with nothing.
“I’m sorry, Kynslee.”
Swallowing hard, I forced my mouth to move, forced it to utter the two words that had turned my world completely upside down. “The Marines?”
“Yeah.”
“How long have you known you were going to join?”
He didn’t say anything, so I looked over at him. He stared out the window, too much of a coward to admit that this wasn’t some hare-brained scheme he’d just thought of in the past few days.
“Miles? How long?”
“I joined back in February.”
My eyes widened in shock. “Three months ago? You’ve known for three months you would be leaving, and you didn’t bother to tell me?”
“I wanted to avoid this, Kynslee,” he said, looking me in the eyes. He seemed…sad. Conflicted. Confused. My heart ached, but I was so angry with him. How could he keep this to himself? Leaving behind all the plans we made for college. It was going to be me and him. Together. He had promised me.
“This? This! What exactly is this, Miles?”
“Leaving you. Hurting you. Do you think I want to go? I have to go. My father ran out on us over a year ago, and my mom is trying her best to keep the farm going while working an extra job to make ends meet. I need to join so I can make money and help her out. I need for Rich and Lana to be able to go to college. To have a choice if they want to stay in Hunt or not.”
My eyes stung as I tried not to cry. I was being selfish, I knew that. My family owned a large ranch, as well as a successful store in our small town, and money was something I never had to worry about. My college was paid for, and I didn’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders like Miles did. But he had always been there for me. Through everything. Now he wouldn’t be. Our plans of going to the University of Texas together disappeared before my eyes. Miles had gotten a scholarship to play football, and I never once thought he wouldn’t take it.
I’d be all alone. I needed to pull my big girl panties up and realize why he was doing this. “Okay. Are you coming home after boot camp?”
“No. I go straight into specialty training.”
My heart dropped. Specialty training? “What will you be doing in the Marines?”
He avoided my eyes. “Working on stuff, mechanical.”
I was beginning to lose my battle at keeping my tears at bay. He was lying, which meant he would be doing something dangerous. Very dangerous, I’m sure. Probably because it paid more money.
“W-who will help your momma run the farm?”
His brows pulled in tight; he’d heard the crack in my voice.
“Rich and Lana.”
“They’re babies!” I gasped.
Miles laughed. “Rich is sixteen and Lana is fifteen. They are both capable of helping on the farm. By the time they go to college I’ll be able to hire someone to help momma out. By then I should have some money saved up.”
I looked out the window and attempted to discreetly wipe my tears away. When Miles took my hand, I couldn’t help but notice how it made my stomach flip. There had always been a hidden desire for him. One I buried deep inside because I knew he didn’t think of me that way. I was his best friend and nothing more, regardless of the fact that we’d had sex.