I loved Miles. I wanted a life with Miles. Marriage, kids, a future. The whole package.
When he whispered he loved me, too, I prayed it wasn’t the alcohol talking. We stayed up in the loft all night, both of us on a single bed, neither wanting to leave. I decided the moment he woke up I would talk to him about us.
I never got the chance.
Miles managed to break my heart in two for the second time in my life, and I vowed right then and there I’d never let him do it again.
I felt my eyes fill with tears that I had managed to keep down for so long.
Miles lifted a brow and tilted his head while regarding me as I stood on his front porch. He’d noticed I was emotional.
Damn it.
“What brings you around? No guy to hang on and dance with tonight at Jonny G’s?” he asked, a smirk on his face. I saw more than the smirk, though. I saw jealousy. Heather had been right. And that pissed me off. He thought he could walk back into my life, and I was supposed to simply drop everything because he was home?
No, thank you.
If he wanted to play it this way, I’d play.
I smiled. “Well, obviously you weren’t available to dance since you were out with Becky, right? You know what, never mind, this was a bad idea.”
“What was a bad idea? Were you planning on coming to tell me yes?”
“Yes?” I said with a disbelieving laugh. “Are you for real right now, you jackass, son-of-a-bitch.”
Miles’s eyes grew wide, and I knew he was attempting to hide a smile. “You have learned to swear a lot. I don’t think I heard my fellow Marines rip out the curse words like you can, Kyns.”
Anger boiled in my veins. I clenched my fists and decided to hell with talking. “You walk back into town after all these years and expect me to fall into your arms over a stupid promise?”
“It wasn’t a stupid promise. I thought it meant something to you.”
My heart flipped for a brief moment. He looked dead serious.
Impossible.
No, no. There was a reason behind all of this, and I was going to find out what it was he needed from me. I wasn’t about to be some pawn in his little game.
“Then why, Miles? Why didn’t you tell me you wanted something more? You had the chance five years ago, remember? Instead, you told me to go off and date Jack.”
The corner of his mouth twitched before he answered. “How fair would it have been for me to ask you to wait around for me, Kynslee? I had signed up for another five years. Five years of dangerous work.”
“I loved you!” I nearly shouted. “I would have waited a lifetime for you if you’d asked me to. If you had been honest with me. Instead, you strung me along, so you could get another romp in bed.”
Miles took a step back, clearly surprised by my confession. Then he narrowed his eyes. “That’s not how I remembered it. Besides, you didn’t wait long before you moved on, either time.”
“Moved on from what? From a guy I slept with a few times? My best friend? You never once made it seem like you wanted something more from me, Miles. Not once.”
“Neither did you. You started dating in college awfully fast.”
“I was eighteen and confused, you asshole. I didn’t know what I wanted to study in college, much less who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. When you told me you were leaving for the Marines, and we had an amazing night together, I thought maybe it would turn into something more. I waited for you to tell me you wanted more. I waited for you to tell me you wanted me to wait for you, because I would have. Then I had to see you sucking face with some woman with all your Marine Corps buddies cheering you on.”
“That was nothing more than a stupid kiss. Like you, I was young and unsure of everything. When I left you that night, after we made love, I didn’t know what in the fuck was going to happen. Hell, I could have been killed at any moment, so forgive me for living my life the only way I knew how.”
“I see. So what we shared meant nothing to you?”
He pressed his lips tightly. “You know it did. It meant everything. I couldn’t ask you to wait for me. You know I couldn’t ask you that. We were both so young. It wasn’t like we’d never dated other people before.”
I nodded. “Right. What about the third time you came home? Things between us were clearly different. I told you I loved you, Miles. I confessed to wanting a future with you.”