Sliding sunglasses on top of my head, I slung my bag over my shoulder and said, “Now I’m ready.”
Jude slid lithely off the bed and stretched his arms above his head. He tapped the top of the doorway on our way out.
Trent and Row were already waiting downstairs, by the backdoor. Trent had his arms wrapped around her from behind, and whispered something in her ear, which made her giggle.
She looked up, her cheeks flushed with warmth and smiled when she saw us.
“Y’all ready?” Trent asked, then nibbled on her earlobe. She giggled and pulled away. Rowan might’ve been madly in love with Trent, but she still struggled with public displays of affection. I had to admit that she was much better now than she had been a year ago.
We nodded and Trent opened the door.
I don’t know how it had escaped my notice, maybe because I’d been too busy gawking at everything else, but the beach was literally right outside. Yeah, it was a ‘beach house’ but I’d still thought we’d have to walk a few blocks to get there. Oh, no. It was right there. I ran outside like a crazy person, kicking off my flip-flops and twirling in the sand. My bag dropped somewhere behind me but I didn’t care. I was on the beach!
I heard them laughing at my display.
I was letting loose and I was determined to have fun on this trip, even if I had a roommate. I wasn’t paying attention and let out a squeal when my feet were swept out from under me. At first I thought I was falling, but then my stomach hit against a muscular shoulder. Jude’s familiar scent swam around me as he ran towards the ocean.
“Jude!” I screamed, laughing despite myself. “Put me down! It’s going to be freezing and I have my clothes on!” My protests didn’t matter, we both went in the water. A wave swelled around us, knocking him off his feet.
We went under and the icy water shocked me. I came up sputtering, wiping my eyes. I slapped at his hard chest, which was on full display in his drenched white shirt. Getting a good look at him, I swallowed thickly. I itched to reach out and touch his abs, but I clenched my hands together so I could do no such thing.
We stood staring at each other, drenched in water, panting—and it wasn’t from lack of oxygen. The air was thick with sexual tension. It was like a palpable thing between us, wrapping around us with snaky tendrils drawing us closer.
I don’t know who moved first, and it didn’t matter.
Suddenly his arms were wrapped around me, one holding my body and the other on the nape of my neck. Our lips collided together and I wanted to sigh in relief. I hated him. I wanted him. I cursed him. I craved him. We were like fire and water—two opposites that should never come together, but somehow when we collided it was perfect. His mouth moved over mine with the skill of an artists’ hand on a canvas. I breathed him in, savoring this moment. With each gentle press of his lips against mine my resolve to avoid him crumbled. There was no staying away from Jude. I could run, hide, and deny my feelings for as long as I wanted, but they weren’t going anywhere. I needed to get Jude out of my system. At least that’s what I told myself as I kissed him deeply, fisting his wet shirt in my hands. I couldn’t hate him anymore, not after seeing the real, genuine Jude. The fact of the matter was I let go of my hatred when I’d seen what a remarkable person he was and I couldn’t stay away. I’d always been a fighter, and I’d been fighting my thoughts and feelings for weeks now. There was a part of me that still fought hard to hate him, to blame him, because that was easy, but it wasn’t working anymore. I saw now that no one was to blame. Not really anyway. But humans long to find fault in someone else. It’s so much easier to hold onto pain, to despise someone, than it is to let go and choose to be happy. I was letting go of my pain, letting it fly away like a balloon I’d once released from my grasp as a child. I’d watched it fly higher and higher, crying at first at the loss, but then marveling at its beauty as it spun through the air, travelling to lands unknown. The balloon was my pain leaving, but it also symbolized me. Free. Floating. Discovering a life I’d never bothered to imagine. One with love and happiness.
“Don’t break my heart,” I breathed when he pulled away, nipping my lower lip.
He kissed the edge of my nose. “Never,” he vowed.
Chapter Fourteen
Jude and I ended up back on the beach, lying on towels side by side. I’d been surprised by the words that left my mouth after our kiss, but even more shocked by his reply. Rowan had watched us emerge from the ocean with a knowing smirk before moving a ways down the beach with Trent.
It was still only Jude and I in this spot. From the lack of activity on the beach, I guessed it was private and reserved only for the people who lived here.
Jude reached over, lightly guiding his finger down my nose. “Still cold?”
I shivered. “What do you think?”
He chuckled, ducking his head. “I didn’t expect it to be that cold, I’m sorry.”
Closing my eyes, I let the sun’s rays warm me. “It’s okay.”
In fact, what had transpired between us once we were in the water made it more than okay. Just this morning I’d been livid to find out Jude was coming with us, then mad we had to share a room, but now that I’d given into the feelings I’d been denying I felt…happy.
Happiness had been absent from my emotions for a long time. On the surface, I wore a smile and never showed the struggles I dealt with on the inside. The fact of the matter was, I’d been hurt. I was damaged goods, and I hadn’t believed I was the kind of girl worthy of love—of being saved. But I was beginning to see that everyone is worth saving. It was strangely appropriate that the man I’d let break me, was the one to put me back together.
I didn’t know what tomorrow, or next week, or even the following month might hold for us, and I wasn’t going to let myself overthink it. I was going to live in the moment.
Jude lay on his back, staring up at the clear blue sky. “Tatum?”
“Yeah,” I replied when he didn’t continue immediately.
“Can I hold your hand, or are you going to hit me for that?”
I turned my head and laughed at his serious expression. “I think that would be alright, and I really am sorry about that. It was an automatic reaction.”