“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.
“Apologizing isn’t a weakness,” Bryce stood, throwing the damp rag over his shoulder, “it’s a strength.”
Whistling, he headed to the back to clean up there while I finished out front.
I kept replaying his words over that evening and on the drive home.
I was surprised to see Rowan’s car parked in the driveway when I arrived home.
I got out of the car and found her sitting on the top step of the porch. Her elbows rested on her knees with her head in her hands.
I approached hesitantly, like she was a rabid animal that might bite me at a moments notice. After our last conversation I had no idea where we stood.
“Hi.” My voice was soft as I approached.
She looked up at me and let out a sigh. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure,” I nodded. I sat down on the step beside her, instead of inviting her inside. I figured if things got bad I had a better chance
of running away if we were outdoors.
“I’m sorry for the things I said.” She turned to look at me, and tears shown in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have been such a bitch to you. You were hurting and I wasn’t respectful of that.”
I shook my head. “You were telling the truth. I was being stupid.” I let out a pent up breath.
“How have you been?” She asked.
“Miserable.” I answered without any hesitation.
“He’s—”
“I don’t want to know about him,” I stopped her.
“But—”
“No,” I said sternly. “I don’t want to know.”
Rowan sighed and reached for me, putting her arm around me and coaxing my head onto her shoulder. “I hate seeing you like this.”
I lifted my shoulders in a small shrug. “It is what is.”
“You’re not going to fix this, are you?” She whispered into the night air.
I stared out at the yard where lightning bugs glowed. “I still need more time. I need the hurt to go away.” It was basically the same thing I’d told her the last time she was here.
“It’s not going to stop hurting until you get your man back, Tate,” she stated.
I scrubbed a hand over my tired face. “He hasn’t tried to see me.”
Rowan sighed heavily. “He thinks you hate him.”
I pulled away from her, not even bothering to scold her for giving me information on him. “I could never hate him. I tried, but I can’t.”
I started to cry, for the thousandth time it seemed, and Rowan stood up and helped me to stand as well. She led me to the front door and I pulled out my key to let us inside.
Rowan didn’t say anything as she led me to the family room and disappeared into the kitchen. When she returned she held out a gallon of ice cream with two spoons stuck in the top. “Ice cream makes everything better, right?”
“Right,” I replied.