For some reason I trusted Trace. Which was odd. People should earn your trust and I hadn’t known Trace long enough for that to happen. But I did trust him. There was something about him that made me feel…safe. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to.
He was right though. I didn’t know him that well. So, I had no idea why I was telling him everything.
I refused to tell him about my list though. I wasn’t ready.
But my fingers had a mind of their own, pulling it out, and folding it into the palm of my hand.
Trace’s eyes zeroed in on the piece of paper clenched in my hand and I knew there was no going back now. Even though I was tempted to stuff it back in my pocket and run away.
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, shivering from fear and not the cool October night.
The things on my list were silly, none of them important, but they were things I had always wanted to do. I was beyond afraid that Trace would laugh in my face, and I honestly wouldn’t blame him if he did.
Trace grew quiet as he watched me work through my inner turmoil.
I pushed down the scared girl I was on the surface and plastered on the face of a confident woman.
I could do this.
I could show Trace my list.
It was time someone besides me knew its contents.
“There’s something I want to show you,” I whispered.
“What is it?” He asked, still looking at my hand.
“It’s a list…a list of all the things I want to do,” I answered, nervously fiddling with the piece of paper.
“Okay,” his brows drew together. “Like a bucket list?”
“No,” I whispered, “I call it my Live List. It has nothing to do with dying.”
“Okay,” he repeated, “what’s on it?”
Slowly, I unfurled the folded pieces.
I stared down at the list in my hand. No one but me had ever seen these words, and now, I was about to hand it to someone who was practically a stranger. I couldn’t explain what drew me to Trace and what made me trust him. Frankly, I didn’t care.
I had written my Live List the day before I left for college. Growing up in the household that I did, I was expected to be perfect. There were so many things that I wasn’t allowed to do. I vowed to live my life once I wasn’t stuck under my father’s roof. This list was the only form of rebellion I had. I never thought I would do any of the things on the list, even though I wanted to. I only made it for fun.
I read through it again before I handed it to him.
My Live List
1. Get drunk
2. Fly in a hot air balloon
3. Go to the carnival
4. Go to a concert (even if it’s someone I’ve never heard of)
5. Go to a party
6. Lose my virginity
7. Dance in the rain