“I didn’t think it mattered to you. Since she died, you shut down and pissed off. So I moved on. Am I supposed to be sorry for that?” Liam finally turned to him with a scowl. “What’s the point now? All this retrospective crap doesn’t change a thing.” Liam made to rise from the stool.
“Wait! I’m not done, damn it.”
Rolling his eyes, Liam settled back onto the barstool. “Hurry the fuck up.”
Hammer lost his temper. “You got a tampon to change?”
Liam stood. “That’s it. I’m done listening.”
He clenched his fists. “Damn it, this is not how my apology was supposed to go. Sorry. Just let me finish.”
“You’ve got thirty seconds.”
Hammer scrubbed a hand through his hair. Christ. Clearly, mending their fractured friendship would require more than words—if it was even possible. The brittle olive branch he’d been trying to extend Liam wasn’t reaching far. What he planned with Raine would probably break the damn twig in half.
But Hammer couldn’t continue to hurt her under the guise of protecting her. He’d caused her far more anguish by hiding his love. She was a strong woman. After weighing Beck’s advice, he realized that. If he took her training slowly, gave her a lot of praise and compromised, she could handle his needs. He would assure her that he didn’t expect her to be his slave. Hammer vowed to teach, hold, and love her so he could complete her, just as she would him. But he had to let her decide for herself…even if she chose Liam instead.
That very real fear made his stomach twist. For years, his selfishness had prevented Raine from growing. What if she couldn’t forgive him, either?
“Well?” Liam asked into his silence. “Never mind. Why are we even having this conversation? The bloody horse is dead. I think we’ve beaten him enough.”
“He’s just in a fucking coma.” Hammer tried to crack a smile, but it felt forced and insincere. “Look, I admit that I fucked up. I made the wrong choices. We’ve both paid a price. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I never did anything out of malice.”
“Got it. Thanks.” Liam nodded absently, then looked around the room.
A prickle of unease raised the hairs on the back of Hammer’s neck. “What’s wrong?”
“It would take me hours to explain, and I just don’t have the time or energy now. Besides, I’m not in the bloody mood to hear ‘I told you so.’”
They’d only ever really argued about one person. And if she had been here, she would have made far better coffee. “Where’s Raine?”
Liam wouldn’t meet his gaze. Alarm bells rang in his head.
“Where the fuck is Raine?”
“The last time I saw her, she was in my room. But I’m sure she’s left it by now.”
His flat reply, coupled with the flash of guilt in his eyes, screamed there was more his old pal wasn’t saying.
“Left for where?”
“Her own room? I don’t know.”
“You don’t know where your sub is?” Hammer jabbed, arching a brow.
Liam closed his eyes and sighed. “She’s not my sub anymore. I removed her collar this morning.”
The words punched Hammer. He felt himself gape at the news, jaw hanging, eyes bulging. A feather could have knocked him off the barstool. Hell, off the planet. “What?”
“You heard me. She’s not ready to give what’s necessary, and I’m bloody tired of trying to force her submission. I’m not letting her go, just giving her time to think, is all.”
Maybe that wouldn’t be true of another sub, but this one? She would take it as a crushing rejection, nothing less. In Hammer’s book, if Liam had removed Raine’s collar, that meant he’d released her. And she was fair game.
The selfish bastard in Hammer wanted to throw a party. Finally, Raine could be his. The Dom in him feared it wouldn’t be that simple. Now that Liam had crushed Raine by letting her go, she’d need tenderness and love—two things he wasn’t good at—to heal. Son of a bitch.
He damn near wrapped his hands around Liam’s throat and strangled the life out of him. “What the hell were you thinking? Was it your intention to shove her out the fucking door and push her off the deep end?”
Liam bristled. “I was trying to teach her. Something you should have done years ago.”
So much for mending fences.
His chest heaved as the last threads of control slid through Hammer’s fingers. “If you’d have asked me, I would have told you uncollaring her was the most counterproductive move possible. You should have tried to modify her behavior.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I have—over and over. I was at the end of my rope.”
Everything coming out of Liam’s mouth blew Hammer’s mind. “Raine lived and worked at Shadows, but she’s never actually submitted before you. You know that observing and doing aren’t the same thing. You should have trained her, not dumped her like yesterday’s trash.”