Against his will, his eyes traveled across the dungeon to the infamous spanking bench Raine had perched on for her punishment with Beck…and where she’d given herself to Liam. God, he could still see her there, angry and frightened and determined, at least until Beck had fucked it all up. He didn’t have the first clue where she’d gotten those Fuck You Very Much panties. At the time, he’d been furious. Now, he smiled a bit fondly. Only Raine…
How the fuck was he going to heal this gaping wound in his chest? How long was he going to miss her and need her and regret every second of the way he’d so fucked up.
“Sir?” Crystal stared at him over her shoulder.
Hammer could give this woman what she craved, and it didn’t cost him a thing. Why couldn’t Raine be as easy? Why did she want his heart and soul? Love he didn’t have to give?
Gripping Crystal’s long auburn curls in his fist, he jerked her head back as his lips whispered over her ear. “Your safeword is ‘power,’ girl.”
“Yes, Sir. Thank you. But you know I won’t need one.” She sent him a dreamy smile.
“You might,” he warned.
He smoothed a broad hand over her creamy flesh. Immediately, thoughts of Raine filled his head. His blood surged, boiled. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he allowed himself to remember how her soft ivory flesh yielded beneath his hands.
Tightly, he gripped the leather-plaited handle of the whip and got ready to inflict pain.
But he was good at that, wasn’t he? He’d brought so much pain down on Raine with his actions. His gut seized at the thought of inflicting more, even on a pain slut who craved it. Visions of the marks he’d left marring Raine’s sensual body flooded his mind, and he liked the idea that those were the last marks he’d left on a woman. The memories of her slick, swollen pussy and how fucking epic she felt wrapped around his cock consumed him.
Shit, he had to focus.
Opening his eyes, he stepped back, arching the whip high above his head, and with a flick of his wrist, a deafening crack filled the air. Sweat broke out along his brow and trickled down his back. The room spun and a sickening taste filled his mouth. Staring at Crystal’s unmarred ass, the canvas he was expected to paint with wicked red welts, he clutched the handle of the whip with both hands. His body trembled as he fought for control.
Raine had left him. His uncompromising needs and his goddamn fears had driven her away, leaving him with no way to harness the overwhelming panic.
He shook his head and closed his eyes.
Suddenly, a strong hand gripped his forearm. Snapping around, he growled at Beck, who stood next to him looking deeply concerned.
“I’ll take care of her, Macen,” he whispered in a voice that only Hammer could hear.
“I got it,” he assured Beck.
“You don’t. Pull your head out of your ass,” Beck murmured for his ears alone, obviously trying to save Hammer the embarrassment.
He shrugged Beck off. “What the fuck are you still doing here? You’ve been banned.”
Beck snorted. “Banned. Yeah, right. Sorry, chief, I’m still here because I’m the only one who will risk standing up to you. You’re dealing with too much. Go unwind in your room. I’ll see to Crystal’s session.”
The asshole was treating him like a BDSM invalid. “Go the fuck away.”
“No. Look at yourself. You’re white as a fucking ghost. If the members truly knew how much you were falling apart, the ramifications would be disastrous. I can’t let you scene with Crystal, not while you’re half out of your mind over her.”
Hammer didn’t have to guess which her Beck meant.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Get your shit and get out.”
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re stable enough to be let loose among the subs. Now give me the whip and go unwind in your room.”
Who did Beck think he was talking to? He clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes, ready to knock the fucker’s head off.
“Ah-ahh, don’t start swinging here. It’ll ruin your fine, upstanding reputation as the bad ass Dom in charge now, won’t it?” Beck taunted with an arch of his brow.
Hammer looked up. All eyes were on him. Even Crystal had turned to see the reason he hadn’t started working her over yet. Hell, the sadist was right. “Shit.”
“I got this,” Beck assured. “I’ll give Crystal whatever she needs.”
With a sigh of defeat, he clapped Beck on the back. “Her safeword is ‘power.’ Don’t forget it.”
“No sweat. You worry about figuring out if you’re going to get yourself together or self-destruct. Now that Raine is gone, man, those are your only two options.”
With a disgusted sigh, Hammer slapped the handle of the whip into Beck’s hand, then clenched his jaw and walked away. The club members’ nervous looks did not escape him. Inwardly cursing for being such an idiot, he headed down the hall, to his room, picking up a bottle of Patrón on the way.