Unless… Racing to Raine’s room, he saw her purse sitting on her nightstand. Fuck me! Liam hadn’t even let her grab it before he’d kidnapped her and disappeared.
Diving into the bag confirmed his worst suspicions. His hand squeezed around her cell phone as his stomach tightly knotted. Raine was lost to him unless Liam allowed her to call. And what were the odds of that? Sure, she might leave the bastard…someday. But would she ever come back here?
“Motherfucker!” He resisted the urge to throw her phone across the room.
Hammer set the little colorful bag back on her nightstand, staring sightlessly at the wall. He grabbed her pillow, drawing it up to his nose to inhale the intoxicating fragrance still clinging to the linen. Closing his eyes, he breathed in the remnants of her scent. Remorse clogged his throat, but the lump was so damn big, Hammer felt as if it might choke him.
The sound of someone shuffling near the doorway snagged his attention. He set the pillow in his lap and found Beck staring at him, shaking his head. No way Hammer could miss the concern in the big man’s eyes.
“What?” Macen barked.
“You need to get it together, man.” Beck frowned and walked away.
As much as Hammer hated to admit it, the guy was right. Moping and mooning wasn’t going to accomplish a damn thing. Problem was, he’d never mastered the art of not thinking about Raine even when she was here. Now that she was gone, her ghost lingered everywhere, haunting him.
“Fuck!” Hammer threw Raine’s pillow back on the bed and stormed from the room. He might feel like a pathetic bastard, but he wasn’t going to act like one.
Striding into the dungeon, he was determined to focus on work. Raine wasn’t here to complete some of her tasks, and he needed to find a willing slave to take care of those duties until she returned.
Hammer wouldn’t let himself think that he’d never see her again.
He found a pair of lounging subs only too happy to do his bidding. He knew their names and vaguely remembered playing with them in the past. Neither had made a huge impression on him, but he was grateful for them now. Since Raine’s disappearance, no one had bothered to wash the coffeepot or organize the dungeon. Neither should have been a big deal, but because she always took care of those tasks, they stabbed him with her absence again—and made the hole in his chest bleed more.
As they ran to do his bidding, he looked about, watching others scene. He hadn’t done that since that fateful night with Marlie. Shit, he didn’t really want to, and Hammer felt a bit guilty about shirking his responsibilities to the others here today. But he couldn’t bring himself to voluntarily take the hand of another sub and…
“Sir?”
Someone tapped his back, and a soft, sensual voice broke into his thoughts. He turned to find Crystal. She sent him an inviting glance. The single sub had few reservations about the Doms she chose to give her power to and even fewer boundaries. He usually strapped her up and pushed her to the edge about once a week. Often, he fucked her afterward. But he hadn’t been interested enough to even look her way lately. She wasn’t Raine. No one was. And the last thing he felt like doing now was Crystal.
“What is it, girl?” If he was lucky, maybe she had a complaint he could fix or trouble with another Dom whose head he could bash in.
Instead, she reached for his hand, prodding his fingers open with something cool and leathery. He looked down to find her giving him a single tail, then sliding to her knees. “Please, Sir. I need to feel the kiss of the whip.”
Fuck. Guilt pressed down on him. He’d neglected her, and it wasn’t her fault.
Since the blowup with Liam and Raine’s departure, he wondered if the grapevine was working and members would start talking, whisper that he’d lost control. Would they wonder if they should play elsewhere? Speculate that he might not be able to run a safe place?
It would be better for everyone if he put the possible rumors to rest. He never wanted to use a sub in anger…but he wasn’t mad at the nubile woman. In fact, anger had fallen far down on his list of emotions. Panic and desolation seemed to be vying for the top spot.
Confident that he wouldn’t take Crystal past a place she could handle, Hammer nodded and gestured across the room. An eager smile spread across her lips as she headed to a suspension frame near the back wall.
Hammer untied the little bow holding her sheer, nude baby-doll together and flung it away. Compliantly, she raised her arms to the dangling cuffs, and he secured her in. Then he grabbed her little thong in his fist and gave a mighty yank. It tore from her body, and Hammer tossed it aside. The actions were familiar. He’d done this a thousand times. But nothing felt the same. None of it excited him.