He doesn’t speak, and I spare a glance at his face, his demeanor quickly turning to ice.
Edward Bancroft has only ever been kind to me. My mind races through every encounter I’ve ever had with him as he leads me further through the house, toward the back. Before Noah, when I was just the daughter of his employee, he shook my hand and offered kind words. With Noah, he offered me a job. He invited me to sit at his dinner table. Out to events with his friends. Sweet smiles. Kind words. Nothing ever seemed wrong.
But this is wrong.
It doesn’t take a college educated person to know that. The drug in the drink, his hold on my arm, and he leads me away from the party.
Did he do this that night too?
While my sister was dying was I…
I can’t even let the word cross my mind, can’t even believe that something so terrible happened to me and I remained completely unaware.
This family, this horrible fucking family.
I yank my arm from his grasp, this time successfully, inhaling a shaky breath while I hold it against myself. Edward’s dark eyes meet mine. “What are you doing?” he growls.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
His eyes wander over me and widen at the exact moment he realizes that I’m not drugged. The recognition only shows for a moment before that sinister smile rises over his lips again, spreading them thin across his face. “Mikaela,” he coos my name and the sound makes my stomach flip inside me. “I was just going to show you the theater. You said you wanted someplace quiet.”
He moves toward me as he speaks the sickly sweet words. “Do you not remember?” he adds, and I feel sick all over, like I might vomit whatever scraps remain in my stomach.
“No,” I hold my hand out in a feeble attempt to stop him, but he pushes it aside easily, moving in and pinning me against the wall in the hallway.
“Foolish girl.” He mutters, his hot breath falls on my cheek, filling my nostrils with the scent of whiskey. “You didn’t drink what I gave you?” He clicks his tongue admonishingly.
I attempt to push him away. I don’t want this. His breath on my skin, his body pressed against mine. I feel the tears rise in my eyes and I do my best to push them away, push him away.
But I can’t.
I can’t stop it and the idea of resigning myself to this fate feels… like death.
I would rather die.
And for a moment, I think of Auden on the edge of that cliff, what she was thinking when she stepped off the ledge.
Did she want to die too?
He pushes his lips to my face, kissing me hard and rough, but it doesn’t feel the same as when Noah kisses me. His lips are chapped, scratching at my skin. A sob lodges itself in my throat and my stomach does somersaults again.
I want to die.
The words repeat in my head. A soft mantra. And I promise myself, once this ends, I’ll throw myself off that cliff too.
I see Auden’s face when I close my eyes. Her hazel eyes peering back at me, her auburn hair billowing behind her. She smiles, and I feel it in my bones. Her happiness radiated from her. With that same smile, I see her look at me so clearly and say, ‘why aren’t you fighting harder?’
My eyes shoot open, and I raise my knee quickly, letting it hit him between his legs where it will hurt the most.
It works, his grip on me loosens, instead moving to cup his manhood while he calls me an obscene name. I don’t wait to hear what else he has to say, I run. My heels click against the hardwood and I’m wishing I wasn’t wearing them, wishing I didn’t let Laurel talk me into them.
Once I reach the party, where people are milling about, I kick them off, leaving them in the middle of the floor and continue running. I reach the back door, swinging it open.
My bare feet hit the decorative brick that makes out the patio before I reach the grass.
“Mikaela!” I hear someone call, Noah, I think. But I don’t stop. I let my feet carry me, running through the grass and over rocks and sticks. I don’t feel the pain anymore. Don’t feel the scrapes on my soles, don’t feel the burning in my legs.
I run until I hit the cliffs, until I’m gazing over the edge. In the dark, the water looks like black ink, pushing and pulling against itself. What does it feel like when you smack against it from this high up? The drop alone should kill me, at least it did for Auden. The smack against the black water and then nothing.