Zander dropped his eyes and began toying with his napkin, then the silverware on the table. It was the first time I'd ever seen him show any kind of agitation. "You blame yourself," I murmured.
He didn't respond at first. In fact, he acted like he hadn't even heard me. But then there was the briefest of nods. I found myself reaching across the table to cover his hand with mine. "I know you did everything you could, Zander. Even though we haven't known each other long, I can see that about you. The way you helped me with Ted… you did everything you could to help that boy."
Zander shifted his hand so he could link his fingers with mine. Then he pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it. I liked that when he put my hand back down, he didn't release it. I forgot all about the other people in the restaurant as I watched the man across from me. I wondered what I'd gotten right in my life that fate would bring this man into it. But I also knew that fate was going to eventually take him away again.
"You said it was ten years ago," I said. "I've lived in Eden my whole life. Plenty of people get into trouble around here, but there's only one person who did something ten years ago that landed him in prison."
Zander looked up at me.
"You're talking about Xavier Price. He attacked one of the local ranchers out here and burned down his barn."
"Did you know him?" Zander asked.
I shook my head. "He's younger than me, so we didn't go to school together or run in the same circles. But I heard he's back."
That caught Zander's attention. "Back in Eden?" he asked in surprise.
I nodded. “I guess he got paroled or something. He's got family here. We don't see much of him in town. Last I heard, he got a job and was trying to just stay out of the public eye. He was so young," I murmured.
"Yeah," Zander said.
"So you didn't know he was out? But you still came here."
Zander nodded. "One of the things he did talk about was this place. And he kept mentioning this friend of his who was going to get him out, who was going to fix everything. He was so certain of it. I think that's why his case stuck with me. He was scared beyond belief, but he had no doubt that his friend would be there."
"Did he say who his friend was?" I asked.
Zander shook his head. "No. I attended the trial. He kept looking back over his shoulder at the doors leading into the courtroom, like he was waiting for someone. I remember his expression when he was sentenced. He just kept looking at that door and then when the guards took him out of the courtroom, he looked so broken."
Zander shook his head again and reached for the beer the waitress had brought moments earlier. He only took a small swig of it and then set it down. "The sad thing is that his story isn't all that unique. I saw kids like him every day, year after year. I was able to help some, but the ones I couldn't…"
"They stayed with you," I offered.
"Yeah," he sighed. "I lost a kid a few months back. I was working in San Francisco. I promised her I'd get her out of her situation. But I was too late. The father killed her and her mother, then himself. It was just a little too close to home, you know?"
I stilled at his words as I realized he was trying to tell me something without actually telling me. "Did something like that happen to you?" I asked. "When you were a kid?"
He glanced around the restaurant and let out a harsh chuckle. "Great first date conversation, huh?" he joked. I knew it was his way of trying to get me to change the subject, but I needed to know. I needed to know because I needed to know him.
"Zander…" I said softly.
His fake smile faded away. He began toying with my fingers. It broke my heart to know what a hard topic this was for him.
"It was my mom who killed my dad, then herself. I watched her be his punching bag my entire childhood. Tried to stop it but couldn't. Even when I was strong enough to take the blows for her, it wasn't enough. She was convinced that she could change him and that he loved her and that it was what she deserved. Didn't matter how many doctors or cops or social workers tried to tell her any different. Didn't matter how many times I begged her to leave, promised her that I’d take care of her. I knew he’d kill her one day, and he did. Just not the way any of us were expecting."