When he’d seen me enter the living room, he’d invited me to come and join him and Violet, and there’d been nothing more I’d wanted to do in that moment. But I'd already determined that living in a domestic bubble with him, even if it was only for a few more days at most, wouldn't work. It would only make it harder to walk away from the both of them. Or let them walk away, rather.
"I can still have the other car take you back," Luca offered.
"No, it's all right. I’d like to go with you, if that's okay." I didn't look at him as I spoke. It was true that I did want to go with him to the hospital to see his son.
Well, he wasn't actually going to see his son. Rather, he was just going to talk to the doctor again about the plan going forward to treat Gio. Luca had accepted that it might be a while before his son was ready to talk to him. He’d told me that as he’d watched me move around the food he’d made me for breakfast that morning. While I’d wanted to ignore him just so I could spare myself the pain of conversing with him, there was no way I could've let him go by himself.
I wasn't looking at Luca, but I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like his right hand was reaching for me. I tensed as I waited for his fingers to make contact with my shoulder, but then he appeared to pull back at the last minute. The disappointment was like a living, breathing thing beneath my skin. The night before had been a jumble of emotions for me, but when Luca had kissed me and settled his weight on my body, everything else had disappeared.
I'd wanted him.
In every way I could've wanted another man.
And while that was confusing to me now, it hadn't been then. But then he’d stopped and suggested we go to sleep. Even I’d known what that meant.
He’d been trying to let me down easy. He’d kissed me out of pity but when it had come down to it, he hadn’t been able to make himself touch my disgusting body. The men who'd paid to fuck me hadn't ever given a shit what my body looked like, not that I’d ever cared what they’d thought.
But Luca's rejection hurt.
The rest of the trip to the hospital was made in silence. Violet slept for most of the way. When we reached the spacious grounds, Luca was the one to get Violet out of her car seat. He came around the car with her in his arms, but then put her on the ground so she was standing on her feet.
"Let's try something," he said to me. He put Violet’s hand in mine so she could hang on to me and then he took her other hand. The little girl seemed confused by the fact that she was standing between us, but when Luca encouraged her to take a step using the two of us for balance, she did it, and all the pain and doubt I’d been feeling went by the wayside as Luca and I praised her. Violet smiled a big toothy grin and took another step. It was slow going to the entrance of the hospital, but it didn't matter. Violet was walking.
I wanted to kiss Luca because my joy was just so profound at that moment. But I settled for the hug he gave me after he picked Violet up and told her what an amazing little girl she was.
As we made our way to the floor where Gio's room was, Luca's lightness receded, and his body became tense and stiff. I found myself moving closer to him, but I didn't touch him or say anything, even though all I really wanted to do was hold his hand and tell him everything would be okay. The reality was I just didn't know what was going to happen. Not to mention I wouldn’t be around for any of it. Even if Violet's great-aunt didn't check out, the time had come to make some choices about Violet's future. It was a future I wouldn’t be a part of. And coward that I was, I didn't want to be around when those decisions were made, either. I wanted to escape back to my boring little apartment and lick my wounds. I trusted Luca to make sure that no matter what happened, the little girl would be okay.
I was lost in my own thoughts when I sensed Luca come to a stop next to me. I looked up and was surprised to see Vaughn and Aleks standing by the entrance to the waiting room. There were two other men with them. I didn't recognize them as bodyguards, and with the way they were looking at Luca, I suspected they weren’t that anyway.