I can’t.
But thinking that and actually making myself leave him, giving up on everything that I dreamed about? That’s the crazy thing about dreams—they can turn into nightmares real fast.
“I’m gonna get my bike. If I stay any longer, I may get violent. The decision is yours.”
I back up and wipe under my eyes as I try to smile reassuringly at him. If I don’t want him to kill Rhys, I need to go.
“Give me a second.”
He looks down at me, then over at the stage. “Make it fast.” His blue eyes hold mine, and that’s the last of his patience. He’s done.
Nodding, I turn to watch Rhys one last time. He’s mesmerizing. Beautiful and not mine.
All I do is make you cry.
One foot in front of another, I walk. Passing roadies that give me sympathetic nods. Passing Rafe and Renee as my face burns with humiliation.
I. Don’t. Belong. Here.
I push back my hair, vaguely caring that I’m leaving without my suitcase. All it would do is remind me of him anyway. I have everything I need in my bag.
I start to run and nearly trip down the steps leading to the parking lot. Stopping, I look up at the dark sky.
“Why?” I scream as the rain picks up and my body shivers. I want to sink to my knees and let the water sweep me away.
“Why?” I scream again, this time turning, knowing that he’s here. My heart races as an angry zigzag brightens the night and I see Rhys’s beautiful face. He stands in the rain, his dark hair wet, his eyes full of pain. I open my mouth to scream my rage at him, wanting to beat on him, scratch him, make him bleed like me.
He looks over at my brother’s bike. Surely, he’ll stop me…
He doesn’t.
Pain. It’s agonizing, almost as if I can’t survive another moment. But I do. I breathe in and out as I make my way over to Axel.
I hesitate. He said he loved me… he made me believe. Yet Rhys stands in the rain, the concert raging behind us.
I get on the bike, wondering how I will live with this agony.
He was the one.
My heart beats for him, and now it’s over.
It will never beat the same again.
RHYS
Present – Thirty-five years old
Paris, France
“Why?” she yells at me. Her long, wet hair sticks to her face. This is the moment I die and become reborn.
Her grief will heal; mine will fester and ooze its poison, growing stronger each day until my heart will not beat for her anymore.
She is, was, my anchor. My fucking lifeline to the real me.
I watch her beautiful face in the moonlight, her pale skin never looking more striking at this moment. She backs away from me, taking my soul with her.
Agonizing pain seizes my chest as I let her.
I don’t reach for her.
I don’t stop her.
“Granger?” Rafe’s voice brings me back to the large, private room at Hôtel Ritz Paris. Five suits sit with Rafe and the band. My eyes go back to staring out the window and the wet streets. Rain, always rain.
I clear my voice as I get my head back in the game. I’m not the same man who let her ride out of my life. It’s been years, and still a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about her, wondered if I’d see her in a crowd.
So seeing her laughing with some man was a bit of a surprise. I lost my shit on him. The thought that he’s been inside her… Fuck it, no one’s perfect. Least of all me.
I turn to the conference table. Cash is on his phone, Nuke is nodding off, and the only one who looks interested is Ammo.
I lean forward and reach for a pack of cigarettes, not caring that I’m invading a producer’s space.
A loud snore comes from Nuke’s mouth. His head bobs up and he straightens, blinking as if he’s confused about what’s happening.
Life has been tough for Nuke. He’s my brother. I tried to be there for him. He’s been in and out of rehab, and if his nodding off is any indication, I’d guess he’s using again.
I light my cigarette. It’s fucking amazing that we’re still together. Cash looks at Nuke and rolls his eyes. If any of us has completely pulled away, it’s Cash, but that was after the bomb was dropped. Meaning, I got the paternity test back and Cash was the father of Chase, not me.
Yeah, my life was destroyed, and he never once spoke up, never once said, “Hey, I was fucking Renee too.” I lost Gia over that shit. But I moved on and tried not to hold a grudge. Cash shows up and he’s a beast on the bass. As for everything else? We don’t talk about it.