Ten Months Before Keane
I STAND, CLUTCHING MY BACKPACK STRAPS, TRYING not to bounce up and down with nerves. Bella meets me here after fourth period so we can go to lunch together. It’s always the first time I’m around her during the day.
Please, please don’t be dead, Bella. I had Fia check the news all weekend to see if Bella’s dad was arrested, but there was no mention of anything. Fia finally snapped at me and refused to look anymore, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
“Hey,” Bella says, breathless.
“I’m so glad you’re here!” I beam, stupid with relief. It didn’t happen. I’m not crazy. I don’t see things that are real. Or maybe I am crazy, but again: it didn’t happen. Which means maybe I didn’t really see my parents, either!
Bella does her snort laugh. “Yeah, super glad to be here, too.” She shifts and there’s an odd creaking sound. I turn toward the lunchroom and then I hear a clicking noise between her footsteps. Footstep—only one foot.
“What’s wrong?”
“Crutches. Broke my leg. I was wondering if you’d notice. I feel like such a freak, everyone staring. You must feel like this all the time.”
My stomach sinks and before I can stop myself I blurt out, “Is your dad in jail, then?”
There’s a long pause, and Bella’s voice is totally flat when she answers. “What do you mean?”
“I just—your dad. And the stairs.” I scramble for some way to explain what I’m saying. “How you hurt your leg.”
There’s a click of the crutches, and Bella’s voice moves farther away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I tripped. I’m clumsy. Everyone knows I’m clumsy. Why are you talking about my dad?”
I reach out a hand, desperate. “I saw—I thought I saw—I mean, I just thought maybe your dad . . .”
“You saw? Last time I checked, you’re blind.” Her tone is one I’ve never heard before—not directed at me, anyway, only at other girls when she gossiped.
I’m so scared for her. She’s here, but she’s hurt, and I know what happened. I have to help her. “I know about your dad,” I whisper. “Bella, you can’t let him hurt you like that. You have to talk to someone.”
My hand hangs in the air, begging her to take it.
Now she sounds the way she looked when I saw her—terrified. She tries to laugh but it comes out strangled. “You are such a freak. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Is this what you do for fun? Make up sick stories about people’s families? You really are insane, you know that? Stay away from me.”
That afternoon as I sit on the steps alone, waiting for Fia, I hear muffled laughter and sharp whispers. But Bella doesn’t bother to keep her voice down. “I Googled her. Did you know she actually claimed to see her parents die before it happened? Someone needs to remind her what being blind means.”
“Let me carry your backpack for you,” another girl says, and I flinch as something metal clips my shoulder.
“Oh, sorry,” Bella says, syrupy sweet. “These crutches are so confusing, and I didn’t see you there.”
“Touch her again and I’ll break your other leg,” Fia snaps, and I want to sink into the earth and disappear.
I’d never noticed before how mean Bella’s laugh is. “Oh my gosh, Freak and Baby Freak!”
The crutches click like exclamation marks as Bella and her new entourage leave, still cackling.
Fia sits next to me and takes my hand in hers. “Oh, Annie,” she says with a sigh. “I told you not to say anything.”
“I should have listened.” I lean my head on her shoulder, miserable.
“You should always listen to me.”
FIA
Four Months at Keane
IT’S ALMOST LAUGHABLE HOW EASY IT IS TO STEAL Ryan’s cell phone. Turn the ringer all the way up, slip it into the pocket of his father’s suit jacket in the dining hall that night. I’m gambling that no one will call or text Ryan before I do, but I feel good about it. He’s not that popular.
I am the first girl he ever held hands with.