Reaching out, I take Lexi from him and cradle her in my arms, gently rocking her from side to side. “Evan, you are what she needs for the simple fact that you do love her. You have to remember, most of the time, there are two parents, two people to take shifts until this little one gets her days and nights on the right schedule. It takes time, and you are trying to do it on your own.”
“I just—”
“You’re just tired. Have you eaten?”
“Yeah, Aaron came over last night and brought pizza.”
“Today, Evan? Mom made you a lasagna, not exactly breakfast, but it’s still warm and it smelled amazing when she was making it. I set it on the counter in the kitchen. Go make yourself a plate, then go upstairs and sleep. I have nothing planned today. I’ll take care of this one.” I look down at Lexi. “You, little one, have worn Daddy out. You and I are going to spend some time together while he gets some rest.” I talk to her like she understands me. I’m sure I look like a crazy person, but Evan’s so tired he probably doesn’t even notice.
“Kinley, I—”
“Evan, go. I got this. We will be here the entire time. She needs you rested. Now go get some food and then sleep.”
He’s too tired to protest further. He nods and leaves the room. Lexi is no longer whimpering; she’s passed out in my arms. Babies can feel tension and I’m sure this little one was feeding off his exhaustion. Not wanting to move her just yet, I reach for my purse and pull out my Kindle. I settle down on the couch with this precious baby girl to read. I need Evan to see I’m good with this so he won’t feel guilty.
A few minutes later, he joins me with a heaping plate of lasagna and a glass of sweet tea. I pull my feet up, so he can sit on the opposite end of the couch. “She’s out,” he observes.
“Yeah, I think the two of you were keeping each other up.” He doesn’t say anything; instead, he digs into his lasagna. I open my Kindle and start reading, letting him eat.
“I can’t take care of my own kid,” he says, setting the now empty plate on the coffee table.
“Evan, every parent needs help. You can’t expect to do it all alone. Let me help. Go crash for a few hours. I got her. I’m going to make sure she’s in a deep sleep before I lay her down. I have my Kindle.” I hold it up for him.
He runs his hands over his face and releases a heavy sigh. Finally, he stands and carries his plate to the kitchen. When he comes back, he sits on the edge of the couch close to me, tracing a finger down Lexi’s cheek. “I love her so fucking much, and it kills me to think I can’t take care of her,” he confesses.
“You can take care of her. You’re exhausted, Evan. Go get some rest,” I say softly.
Leaning in, he cups my face with his hand and runs his thumb across my cheek. “What would I do without you?” he whispers the question. I assume it’s a rhetorical question, so I don’t answer. “You’re amazing, Kinley.” Leaning in a little further, his lips press against mine. “Thank you,” he says, pulling away. He watches me for a reaction, which he’s not going to get. I can’t let him see how he affects me. I would rather have stolen kisses we don’t talk about than have him pull away when he finds out those kisses make my heart full.
Standing, he says, “She ate about two hours ago, so she will be hungry soon.”
“Okay, I promise to wake you if we need anything. Now go get some rest. We’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Evan nods and heads upstairs.
Not twenty minutes later, Lexi begins to stir. Closing my Kindle, I change her diaper and make her a bottle. She drinks greedily and gets mad when I make her stop so I can burp her. She sucks the rest down and her eyes are once again closed. I rub her back and gently pat until she burps again and sighs, making me smile. She’s got a full belly and is sound asleep. Placing her in the pack-n-play, I pick up the bottles Evan left sitting on the table from last night and quietly load the dishwasher. After wiping off the counters, I decide to go ahead and sweep the kitchen floor. After that’s all done, I slip outside and grab my camera and props. Little Miss Lexi doesn’t need to sleep all day. Maybe if I keep her up, Evan will get some rest tonight.
Another hour passes and I decide it’s time to wake her. When I pick her up, she stretches her little arms and legs. I swear she’s the cutest kid ever, but then again, look who her daddy is. I strip her out of her clothes, place the diaper cover on her, and secure the elephant ear hat to her head. She sleeps through it all; it doesn’t even faze her.
I take way too many pictures. It’s going to be hard to choose my favorite. I can’t wait to surprise Evan. I slip the outfit back into my bag and put her back into her sleeper, and just like that, Daddy has no idea. After making sure she’s settled back in the pack-n-play, I take a few pictures of her sleeping and then run my equipment back out to the truck.
I wake with a s
tartle. I hear Lexi downstairs and I panic. Jumping from my bed, I rush down the hall. It’s not until I hear Kinley’s voice that I stop to take a breath and proceed down the steps at a normal pace.
Kinley has Lexi on the couch changing her diaper. My little angel is not impressed with this. “I know, sweet girl. It’s almost over,” Kinley coos to her. “It’s okay, Lex, as soon as we get you in some dry clothes, we’ll get you a bottle.”
“She giving you trouble?” I ask.
Kinley jumps. “You scared the crap out of me.” She finishes changing Lexi and as soon as she picks her up, her cries turn to a low whimper. “Nah, she’s just not happy with the fact that we had to change her clothes and diaper before bottle. She soaked through.” She stands with Lexi in one arm, dirty diaper and clothes in the other.
“I can take her,” I say, walking toward her.
“I got it. Just relax,” she says, carrying a now pacified Lexi into the kitchen. I look around and see she cleaned up.
“Kinley, you didn’t have to clean,” I tell her as I follow her into the kitchen. It too is spotless.
“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. How you feeling?” she asks.