My chest tightens are the thought of being away from her. I just got her after months of worrying about Misty taking care of herself and praying my baby girl arrived healthy. Can I leave her?
“What’s that face?” Aaron chuckles. Fucker, he knows damn well what I’m thinking.
“Maybe I could convince Kinley to come with me,” I say. She could help me with Lexi and I wouldn’t have to leave her yet, although I know I’m going to need to eventually. Speaking of that, I need to arrange childcare too. I thought I had a few more weeks to get that all squared away. Yeah, I’m the boss, but I work the horses and cattle with the rest of the crew, so not helping isn’t an option. I
need to be out there with them, keeping my finger on the pulse of the operation.
Aaron laughs. “You know she will. All she and Mom talked about when Dad and I got in today was baby Lexi.”
“Yeah, they were both here for a while. Your mom fed her. She’s going to be after you to settle down, man,” I laugh.
“Not opposed to it, just need to find her.”
Aaron has always said he’s holding out for the one. He doesn’t do relationships. If he’s not feeling it within a few hours of meeting her, he’s one and done. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard Kinley preach to him about not being able to really get to know someone if he doesn’t give them a chance. His theory is it should be instant. Not sure I agree with him, not after all the time I spent with Kinley. My feelings toward her have changed; so much, I fight them anytime I’m near her.
“What do you have going on the rest of the night?” I change the subject. No way do I need to be thinking about Kinley with Aaron sitting here.
“Nothing, man. I thought about going into town to get something to eat. Mom and Dad went out and Kinley is editing, so she will be glued to her computer for hours. You hungry? How about I go pick us up a pizza or something?”
“Starving! Now that I think about it, I haven’t eaten all day.” I was too nervous about bringing my daughter home to worry about food. My stomach is finally protesting.
“I’m all over it. I’ll be back in a bit,” Aaron says, standing from the couch. “Do you need anything for this one?” He points to where Lexi is sleeping peacefully.
“No, your sister is a lifesaver. She made sure I was all set.” He studies me for a few long seconds and my palms start to sweat. Can he see it? Can he tell she’s more than just his little sister to me? That she’s more than just the friend who has helped me over the past few months?
Finally, he looks away and heads toward the front door. “Be back in a few,” he says over his shoulder and then he’s gone.
The sun blaring through my bedroom window causes me to groan in frustration. It’s was after one this morning before I finally let sleep claim me. I lost track of time while editing, but at least I’m all caught up. Today, I don’t have anything scheduled in the studio, so I plan to take my camera and the outfit I bought to Evan’s and get some, hopefully, adorable newborn pictures of Lexi. However, I first need a shower and food, since I skipped dinner last night.
After rushing through a shower, I head downstairs and find Mom pulling a casserole dish out of the oven. It smells amazing. Looking at the clock, I see it’s only nine-thirty. “That smells great,” I tell her.
“Thank you. I made lasagna for Evan. It’s something he can eat on for a few days and it’s easy to reheat. Do you think you could drop it off for me?” she asks. I’m surprised she doesn’t want to herself.
“Sure, I’m headed there anyway. I’m going to take some newborn pictures of Lexi. I can’t wait to see her in the Alabama outfit I bought off of Etsy.”
“Those ears are just too cute,” Mom says. I purchased a gray crocheted hat with elephant ears and a matching diaper cover in gray with a red “A” right on the bottom. I can’t wait to take these pictures. Evan is a hardcore Alabama fan.
“They really are. I was going to surprise him, but I don’t know if I can get him to leave her long enough. He’s smitten.”
“Hmm, that he is. I’m sure for you he would be agreeable,” Mom replies.
“What do you mean for me?”
“He just seems to trust you. You two have gotten closer since you’ve been home.” She goes back to packing up the lasagna in her carrier. I study her to see if she can tell, for him, I would be agreeable to anything. It’s not Evan; it’s me. Now that Lexi’s here, it’s just going to be harder to resist him—-them. She is the sweetest baby.
“Yeah, he needed help. That’s what friends do.” I try to sound nonchalant. Mom doesn’t call me out on it and I’m grateful. I don’t want to talk about how I’m falling harder every day for my brother’s best friend, for my best friend. Evan and I have become really close, and I feel guilty that I want him, but I just . . . his kisses are hard to forget.
After scarfing down a bagel, I run to the studio and grab the outfit and a few other props I use for newborn shoots. Once I have everything I need, including Mom’s lasagna, loaded into Evan’s truck, I’m on my way. The drive takes mere minutes from our place to his. I park and grab the lasagna. I can come back to get everything else. I’m hoping I can convince him to get out of the house for a little while so I can surprise him with the pictures.
I knock softly, not wanting to wake the baby if she’s sleeping. I wait, but no answer. Maybe they’re both sleeping. Using my key, I slide it into the lock and slowly push the door open. I hear a soft whimper coming from the living room and the sound of Evan’s voice as he tries to soothe her.
I take the lasagna to the kitchen, kick off my shoes, and make my way to the living room. I find Evan pacing back and forth with Lexi in his arms, begging her to sleep. “Rough night?” I ask. The sound of my voice startles him. When he turns to face me, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. He’s exhausted.
“You could say that. She’s hardly slept,” he says, defeated.
With a few steps, I’m standing beside him. I place my hand on Lexi’s back and gently rub. “Let me take her. You go get some rest.”
With glassy eyes, which I’m sure have more to do with emotion than exhaustion, he says, “Kinley, what if I can’t do this? I love her, but what if I’m not what she needs?”