ine if I chose to spend all my life at Schloss Blackmane with you and the kids. I bet he’s counting on it.”
“Claudia…” Avelyn put her hands on her friend’s shoulders and held them there. “Listen to me: you have nothing to worry about. Karl would never do that to you. Yes, he went to Alma Venus and interviewed you because I advised him to take a bride and recommended you, but he bought you because he wanted to. Maybe he made it sound like I insisted a lot, but I didn’t. I actually told him about you once or twice. That was it, I promise. The rest was his decision.”
Claudia nodded, but she didn’t look convinced.
“He brought you here because he knows how much we’ve missed each other. And sure, you can stay for as long as you wish, but if you choose to return to London with him, he won’t say ‘no’. Trust me. I’ve seen it in his eyes: he loves you.”
“Whoa there! Big words.”
Avelyn chuckled. “It’s what my instinct tells me. You two are great together, believe me. You just need some time to get used to each other. It’s not easy at first, but you’ll get there and it’s going to be amazing.”
Claudia averted her gaze and sighed. Avelyn’s words did make her feel better, and she wanted to believe them. Unfortunately, there was more to it than just her paranoia. She had good reasons to suspect Karl wasn’t that into her and would probably never be.
“It’s not just that,” she said slowly. “The cold attitude, his refusal to share a bedroom… Last night, he… he didn’t let me touch him. Like… at all. Before we did anything serious, he asked me if I minded if he tied me up to the bed and blindfolded me. I thought it was a game, I don’t know… I said ‘yes’.”
“Oh my!” Avelyn laughed. “You two had some real fun! Tell me everything. How was it?”
Claudia smiled shyly. “It was good. No, it was incredible! I really hadn’t expected my first time to be like that.”
“Was he gentle? Did he take care of you?”
“Oh, yes.”
“There you go!”
“Sure, but… he told me he doesn’t like being touched or even seen while… you know. That means he’ll never let me do anything. I don’t know how I feel about that… I can’t touch him, I can’t look at him, we can’t sleep in the same bed afterwards… Actually, I do know: I can’t be in such a marriage. I can’t live with someone who pushes me away in our most intimate moments. I don’t get it, I don’t get him. I don’t know what to make of this whole thing.”
Avelyn sighed and stood up. She picked up her cup of tea and started pacing the room while taking small sips.
“I understand, Claudia. I’m sorry you have to go through all of this. I don’t know how to help you, but I can do this: assure you that Karl is a good man. And that comes from someone who has known him for over three years and has learned very early about his past.”
“His past?” Avelyn’s remark caught Claudia’s attention.
“Yes.” Avelyn fixed Claudia with a soft glance. A flicker of sadness danced in her blue eyes. “Something happened during the War of the Six Factions. Karl and his Dark Wolves did something… reckless. And bad, I won’t deny it. But he’s changed now, he’s a different man.”
“What did he do?”
Avelyn sighed, her shoulders sagging a bit. “That story is not mine to tell. When I found out about it, I hated him for it. I couldn’t believe the tall, handsome, elegant gentleman who was pretty much the only member of Clan Blackmane who liked me instantly, could have done such a thing and hurt so many people.” She immediately covered her mouth after saying the last words. “Oh, I’ve said too much.”
“No, no you haven’t. He hurt people…?”
Avelyn shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But you have! So just tell me the whole story.”
“I can’t. Really, I can’t. He’s the one who must tell you.”
“But he won’t, Avelyn!” Claudia jumped off the sofa and faced her friend. “He won’t, and I need to know whom I married!”
Avelyn placed a soothing hand on her arm. “You married a wonderful man who was once young and confused and made a mistake. He has suffered tremendously for it. His scars aren’t healed. I know now because you told me about how he doesn’t want to be touched or seen when he’s vulnerable. Because he’s vulnerable when he’s with you, Claudia, trust me. All men are when they meet their mate.”
Claudia stepped away from Avelyn and went to the window. She needed to distract herself with something, anything. The window gave a splendid view of the front court yard, the gatehouse, and the deep woods beyond.
“I don’t like this,” she said. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“And I am your friend!”
“You ask me what’s wrong, and when I tell you, when I’m open with you, you throw the ‘dark past’ bomb on me and refuse to explain.”