“And what’s that?” asked Sophie sarcastically.
“Who you are, what you did, and the way you see yourself now.”
Sophie waved her hands exasperatedly. She couldn’t believe they were going back to that.
“For fuck’s sake, I don’t know who I am! That’s why I need to talk to Anahit!”
“She can’t tell you that… You think she can, but she can’t. No one can tell you who you are.”
“The sigil…”
“That doesn’t matter either,” said Erah in a kind, soothing voice. He shook his head as to emphasize his words. “The sigil, your real parents… Human or immortal… Your new powers and where they come from… None of that matters. Sophie, you are the only one who can decide who you are and what you’re going to do from now on. So, forget about Anahit, and forget about trying to get answers from the outside. All the answers, all the correct answers, are inside of you.”
Sophie opened her mouth to say something, but then changed her mind and shrugged. She was too tired to arg
ue with him anymore. She eyed the door again, then sat back in her chair and hoped the session would be over soon. She had been in his office for over an hour. He had to let her go at some point.
“And the most important thing, Sophie, is that you have all the time in the world to find these answers.” Erah smiled at her defeated expression. He knew she wasn’t looking forward to seeing him twice a week, but then again, this was true of all Lure Academy cambions when it came to therapy.
Sophie threw him a sour look, then slumped in the comfy chair. He had to let her go at some point…
?
The torch sizzled and died on the wet floor, and Sophie couldn’t even see her own hands in the dark. The only thing she could hear in the deep, deafening silence was her own erratic breathing and her own heart thundering in her chest. She was on her knees, leaning over Casimir’s lifeless form.
“No…” she whispered. “No, please no.”
Her hands came in contact with his forehead, then his cheeks, and finally found their way down to his chest. She pressed lightly, then harder and harder. She had no idea what she was doing, she was just trying to coax a reaction out of him.
“Please… please…” She sobbed and felt tears running down her cheeks. “You can feed off my energy, I won’t struggle. I promise. You can have all of it. Please… please wake up.”
His chest felt weird under her fingers. It was as if she knew every muscle by heart, as if she had touched it many times before.
“No…”
Her hands traveled up his neck, followed the curve of his chin, then stopped over his cheeks. She knew this bone structure too well, and it wasn’t Casimir’s.
“No…”
She started crying harder, leaning over the dead body until her lips almost touched the man’s cold, unmoving lips. She couldn’t feel Kain’s sweet breath on her face anymore, and her heart broke into pieces when she realized it was all her fault. She had done it. It was because of her that Kain was gone now. Then, his features changed under her trembling fingers and Sophie could recognize Alexi’s sharp cheekbones and slightly upturned nose.
“No!”
“Sophie… Sophie, darling… Sophie, wake up!”
That voice… she knew that voice. She wasn’t alone anymore. Sophie struggled to open her eyes. She turned on her left side so violently that she almost smacked Lamia over the face.
“That’s it… come back to me. It was only a dream.”
Lamia was stroking her hair carefully, massaging her temples and whispering softly, urging her to fight her way back to reality.
“It’s okay, my dear. It’s okay… I’m here.”
Sophie managed to open her eyes and focus them on Lamia’s beautiful face. She sat up in bed, and her friend propped a pillow behind her back. She rubbed her eyes and ran her fingers through her tangled hair a couple of times.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay.” Lamia climbed next to her and snuggled against her side. She shouldn’t have let Sophie sleep alone again, but her roommate had insisted, saying that she didn’t need anyone to watch over her at night. She had been wrong, of course, but there was no way Lamia, or anyone for that matter, could reason with her lately.