“Hey,” I said, suddenly breathless.
“Oh my god, it’s so good to hear your voice,” he said with a nervous laugh. “I didn’t know if you’d be flying or—”
“No, I just got back from a trip. This is good. Perfect. I mean, it’s a good time. How have you been?”
My hands were shaking. What the hell was wrong with me?
“Not great, honestly. I’m really kind of… confused. And… well, I was wondering if we could get together and do something? I…” He let out a breath. “I could really use a friend right now.”
“Absolutely. Are you feeling like a night out? A night in? I’m up for whatever you want to do.” I picked up my pace so I could get home and showered as quickly as possible.
“You remember how we watched that old teen movie in Goose Bay and we both really liked it?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “The Breakfast Club?”
“Yeah, don’t laugh at me.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I thought maybe we could watch some of the others like it. I never saw them. Like Sixteen Candles and stuff?”
“You are a newborn baby. But yes, I’d love that. Want me to come to you, or do you want to come to my place? Either is fine with me.”
After a little bit of back-and-forth, we decided to meet at his place since he had Socrates and Waffles. I hopped on the train and willed it to go faster. Once at my place, I quickly showered, shaved, and changed into comfortable shorts and a T-shirt. Then I tamped down my enthusiasm when I realized I was “getting ready for a date.” Whatever that meant. I switched out my nice designer T-shirt for a shitty Pride one and tried washing off the cologne I’d sprayed on. To hell with it. I was a lost cause.
I forced myself not to stop for flowers, wine, more Milk Duds, or anything else I could think of that would show him I cared. Instead, I tried to play it cool. He needed a friend. He didn’t need a pushy asshole. I was going to go in there and be his friend.
Then he opened the door.
And he looked so fucking beautiful, I clenched my teeth against the dreamy sigh that was on the tip of my tongue.
I expected an awkward, foot-shuffling moment where we both sort of grunted Hi to each other, but after half a second of eye contact, Teo launched himself at me and hugged me like it had been years instead of weeks. He felt so damned good in my arms. Holding Teo in my arms gave me the same feeling of happiness and relief I got sliding into my own bed after a long trip away from home. I lifted him up until his legs wrapped around my waist, and then I cupped the back of his head to keep his nose tucked into my neck.
“Fuck, you feel good,” I said into his hair. My voice sounded weird, like it wasn’t my own.
I felt one of the cats brushing against my legs, so I was careful stepping forward to make room to close the apartment door.
“I missed you.” His words were muffled against my skin, and I felt the warmth from his breath there.
Maybe I couldn’t do this. Maybe I was so far gone for him that being around him and not being able to have my hands all over him was going to literally kill me. Because while I had him there in my arms, I remembered Chris standing in that exact same spot in nothing but a towel.
I gently set him down on the floor and pressed a kiss to his cheek, taking that moment to inhale the lemony scent of him.
After clearing my throat, I plastered on a smile. “It’s good to see you.”
That sounded ridiculous.
When I finally got up the nerve to look him in the eye, I noticed they were red-rimmed and damp. I held out a hand to swipe the moisture away with my thumb.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked as gently as I could. “Are you still upset about Gordon? It must be hard going back to the office without him there.”
Teo shook his head and turned away. “No, that’s not it. I just have a lot on my mind. Do you want a beer or a glass of wine?”
“Just some ice water, if you don’t mind.” I let him busy himself making a couple of glasses of water. In the meantime, I reached down and scratched Waffles’s chin before stroking down her back. Socrates was conspicuously absent, but I assumed he was curled up under Teo’s bed or somewhere else out of sight. “How’s work? Any more travel coming up?”
It was throwaway talk, the kind you do when you’re warming back up to someone after an absence, so he surprised me when he laughed and said, “I quit.”