“Want you. Want you so badly. You have to know how much,” he admitted with a hoarse voice. “Tell me you know, Oz. Please.”
The last word was spoken with such longing and desperation, as if it would break him if I didn’t believe him.
“Touch me,” I breathed into the side of his face. The sharp scrape of his beard scruff was like a match to the flame of my desire for him. I fucking loved a man’s scruff against my tender skin. “Oh god, please.”
His arms locked around me, hands spreading wide across my back and pulling me against his chest. I felt the long thickness of his erection against my lower belly. I felt my knees instinctively start to give way so I could sink to them and put my mouth around his cock.
That was when reality splashed over me like water from an ice-cold bucket.
“Fuck, fuck, stop,” I blurted, shoving him off me. “What the hell is happening? Jake, what is this? Why do I feel like I’m being played with?”
His face was flushed dark pink and his eyes were glazed. Red lips were swollen and shiny wet from our kisses. His dark hair was messed up and I realized I’d had my fingers buried in it. In short, he looked debauched and irresistible. My fingers came up to brush across his lips before I could help myself.
“I meant what I said, Oz,” he said in the same wrecked voice. “Don’t doubt for one minute how much I want you. When I saw Russ’s Jeep at your place these last two nights, I wanted to come over there and carry you off like a fucking caveman.”
He stepped back and ran his own fingers through his hair before continuing.
“I’m sorry for what happened in there, for being an ass when you were just trying to be your usual sweet self. I’m sorry for all the shit I said to keep you at arm’s length.” He shook his head. “Two nights,” he began before pausing, his eyes on the floor. “I spent the last two nights imagining you with him…”
Another shake of his head.
“Who, Russ?” I asked. “I told you, I never even met the guy—”
He put up his hand, and I quickly fell silent.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about him touching you and tasting you and… I don’t care if you’ve never met him. I don’t want you even thinking about him. I don’t want you going out with Keith. I know how fucking crazy that sounds… but I can’t. I just can’t,” he implored.
I stared at him. He looked so fucking torn up, it was hard to piece it together with the stoic Jake I knew. The man who seemed to have no feelings and who refused to allow color and joy into his life. But now here he was with need and want and please written so clearly in every part of him. The change from the Jake he tried hard to show the world was making me dizzy.
He must have seen my uncertainty because he began to backpedal.
“At least let me take you home,” he whispered. “Just let me get you home safely tonight. That’s all I ask. You can hate me when you’re back in your cabin for the night. There’s a storm coming and I just… I need to know you’re safe.”
“And we’ll talk?” I asked, because as badly as I wanted to give him what he was asking, I really wasn’t even sure what that was. He hadn’t said anything about things changing. And honestly, I was still reeling from the truth about him. He clearly wasn’t in the closet, since he’d kissed me in front of everyone, but then why hadn’t he just admitted to being gay?
Jake swallowed hard but gave a little nod. He held my gaze for a moment longer, then reached for the door and opened it. We were greeted by a curious-looking Xander and a worried-looking Bennett. Xander was holding our coats and Bennett had Boo in his arms.
“We thought you two might want to head out,” Xander said softly.
Jake looked at me and I nodded.
“Sorry for ruining the evening,” Jake began, but Bennett shook his head.
“This was categorically the best Thanksgiving ever.” He handed Boo to Jake, who looked at her like she was a bomb. The expression on Boo’s face wasn’t much better.
But Jake took her and held her out in front of him like she’d go off at any moment. Xander gently pushed Jake’s arms so he was forced to cuddle my dog against his chest.
“You two be careful heading up the mountain,” Bennett said. Xander handed me our coats. “Lucky went out to start your truck, Jake,” Bennett added.
“And, ah, Keith wanted me to tell you he’d call you later, Oz,” Xander said quietly, his eyes shifting between me and Jake.