Jake didn’t look at me, but I could practically feel the tension vibrating off him. I knew I shouldn’t do it, because I owed Jake nothing.
But I did it anyway.
“Xander, would you mind telling him not to bother. I don’t think it’s going to work out.”
I could have sworn I heard Jake let out a little breath, but I couldn’t be sure. I gave Bennett and Xander each a hug, then followed Jake out to the car. Lucky was waiting by the truck, which was sitting just outside the front door. He gave Jake a fist bump, then said his goodbyes to me.
As I got into the truck, Jake was waiting by the open driver’s side door. He carefully eased Boo into the back seat, but not before he laid his coat down on it for her to snuggle up in. My dog seemed to sense the tension in the air because she gave Jake a little lick on the inside of his wrist as he was pulling his hand away. He paused, then gave her a gentle pat on the head before climbing into the truck. The truck was cold, so I tucked my hands under my armpits.
“Here,” Jake said as he grabbed my coat from where I’d put it on the back seat and placed it over my lap. “Truck takes a while to warm up,” he explained.
“Thanks,” I said as he got the vehicle moving.
Despite the million questions I had, I couldn’t find the courage to ask any of them as we made our way up the mountain. And my mind was reeling with everything that had happened, so it was hard to focus on any one thing.
By the time Jake pulled the truck to a stop in front of his cabin, we hadn’t spoken even one single word to one another.
Not one word.
I expected Jake to invite me into his cabin for our much-needed talk, but when he left the engine running after putting the vehicle in park and taking off his seat belt, my stomach dropped out.
“Oz, I—”
“Don’t,” I muttered as I dropped my eyes to the floor. I shook my head, then forced myself to look at him. “Don’t bother. I’ve heard it all before. ‘It was a mistake.’ ‘It didn’t mean anything.’ ‘I’m not looking for anything right now.’ ‘You’re… you’re not relationship material.’” I resisted the urge to bite into my lip to stem some of the pain I was feeling inside. “I know what you think of me, Jake.”
“What do I think?” he asked.
“You think I’m ridiculous. The clothes, the dog, the way I talk, the fact that I don’t know shit about living in a place like this,” I bit out as I motioned at the darkened forest around us. “But guess what, that’s who I am, and I’m okay with that. And yeah, maybe a few months ago I would have been okay with letting a guy like you fuck me and throw me away, but I’m worth more than that. The fact that you can’t see that… well, that’s your fucking loss.”
I made a move to reach for the door handle, but Jake’s fingers closed around my left wrist.
“Let go,” I demanded, though my heart wasn’t really in it. Despite everything I’d spouted off, my chest hurt, and I could feel the sting of tears. When Jake didn’t release me, I turned to look at him. There was enough light from the motion activated fixture above his cabin’s porch to see his pained expression.
“C’mere,” he whispered. He gave me a little tug, but it wasn’t until he added, “Please, Oz,” that I broke and let him pull me toward him. His truck was an older model with a bench seat, so there was nothing to stop me from sidling up against him.
But that didn’t seem to satisfy him because he kept tugging me. My heart pounded painfully in my chest when I realized what he wanted.
And god help me, I gave it to him.
Jake held onto my arm as I maneuvered my body until I was straddling his lap. There was barely enough space between his body and the steering wheel at my back, but I got the feeling he wanted it that way, because he straightened so our bodies were flush against one another. His big hands came up to clasp my face and he forced me to look at him.
“You don’t even really know, do you, Oz?” he asked. “How amazing you are?”
Surprise had me opening my mouth to respond, but he silenced me with a gentle kiss.
“You want to know what I see?” he asked. He punctuated the question with another kiss. A light one that was barely enough to even be called a kiss, but I felt it in my toes all the same.
“I see someone who lives life on his terms. I see someone who sees beauty in things that the rest of us can’t… crazy colors that shouldn’t work together but do, a dog that most people wouldn’t look twice at, except maybe with pity or shock. I see someone who’s whipcord smart, but incredibly kind too. I know you’re the one who put those new toys in the toy bin at the clinic. I know you helped Becky’s sister read through the divorce settlement her husband’s lawyer sent her, and I know you found her a lawyer who agreed to take her case on a pro bono basis so she wouldn’t lose her kids or her house. I also know you paid for the lawyer, since he doesn’t actually do pro bono cases, but you didn’t tell Becky or her sister that.”