Once we were seated, I reached into my pocket for the folded piece of paper. I pressed it against my thigh under the table while I figured out what words to use to explain what a big deal the night before had been to me.
Aiden sat quietly, sipping his coffee, giving me time to get my act together.
“I wrote you a song,” I blurted.
Aiden’s eyes grew large behind the rim of his coffee cup. “You what? Wrote me a song?”
My heart began slamming against my chest with nerves. “Yeah, I mean, obviously it’s just a stupid little thing. Like no big deal at all. I mean, it’s pretty cheesy, really.” I paused to suck in a breath.
Aiden’s hand came down to land on my upper arm. “You seriously wrote me a song? I’m so flattered, Ash. Can I see it? Can I hear it?”
My eyes snapped up to meet his. “What? Hear it? Oh, no way. No way. Ohmygod. No. Never.” I felt my entire face ignite in horror.
Aiden’s eyes got even bigger as I babbled but then his entire face softened. “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to play it for me if that makes you feel uncomfortable, but maybe someday. It’s enough just to know you wrote it.”
I blew out a breath and tried to smile. “Yeah, well. I have a copy for you. I just wanted to thank you for last night. What you did… it really meant a lot to me. The fundraiser and everything. It was really thoughtful. It was the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a very long time.”
I forced myself to bring up the piece of paper and slide it across the table to him. He reached out to take it from me, making sure I was okay with letting it go. I sat back and looked down at my clasped fingers on the table. There was no way I could watch him read it.
I squirmed until I couldn’t hold myself in any longer. “Shit, you don’t have to read it here. As a matter of fact, I should get back to the register. Read it later. Yeah, just…” I stopped talking when his knee pressed into mine under the table. I realized he was looking at me with the kindest face ever. “Sorry,” I whispered.
“Please stay here and let me read it, Ash. It would mean a lot to me,” he said in a quiet voice.
I nodded and forced myself to stay still, thanking god he didn’t read it out loud. I remembered the words I’d written.
Surfacing
When you go to the water seeking answers
You won’t find me there.
Just remember:
I am in the sun and the clouds
The trees and the wind.
Your very own shadow.
When you let the tears come down
With the fear of forgetting,
Just remember:
I am in your laughter and quiet times
The hellos and goodbyes.
Your very own spirit.
When you continue living tomorrow
After years of grieving,
Just remember:
I am in your memories and yesterdays
The good times and closed chapters.
It’s time to go on.
After a few moments, I chanced a glance up at Aiden’s face and noticed the tight set of his jaw. Shit. This had been way too presumptuous of me. I shouldn’t have meddled. I had no idea what his story was. What if I’d inadvertently written the lyrics about a lost lover? And what if he thought it was none of my business?
I bit my lip and tried to keep my chin from trembling. I really shouldn’t have done it. It was too much. Too personal.
“Ash,” he said in a hoarse voice. I looked up at him. His eyes were wet and so very sad.
“I’m so sorry,” I breathed. “Aiden, I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry.” I stood up and lurched forward, trying to grab the offending paper from his hands, but he pulled it in close to his chest before I could get it.
“No,” he croaked. “Please.”
I stared at him.
“Please,” he repeated. We were practically nose-to-nose and I could smell the clean scent of him from his morning shower and shave. His beautiful eyes were pleading, and he looked more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him. Hell, before that, I couldn’t even imagine using the word vulnerable to describe Aiden Vale by any stretch of the imagination.
His free hand came up slowly to cup my cheek and I found myself leaning into it before I realized what I was doing. It was just so big and warm and strong. I realized my eyes had fallen closed, and I didn’t want to open them— didn’t want to do anything to lose that singular perfect moment of feeling appreciated and safe.
But his hand began to move, to caress, to pull me gently closer to him and it was enough to snap me out of my trance. I pulled away quickly, and sat back down in my chair with a graceless thud.